Bushwacked by the James Gang!!

So im mindin my own,, just me and my mule,, ridin easy on the trail towards town,, sun's shinin and Im thinkin bout miss daisy who said she baked me an apple pie special,,,when the hair on the back of my neck started to rise,, all of a sudden out of the Drygulch creekbed rides up the most fearsome outlaw this side of Saragosa,,, JJ20030!! thats right boys and girls the outlaw known round these parts as the original member of the James Gang,, Wanted in 9 territories. Most notably wanted in Michigan territory,,,,,,,
Well there he was,, sittin high in the saddle, meaner than a rattler and uglier than my mules a$$.
I promised miss daisy that thered be no more fightin and gunslingin so I made a break for it,, my trusty mule and I ducked into the Sweet Water Mine
Well That no good Beer drinkin, Poker cheatin,, Woman carousin hombre threw some dynamite into the mine as he rode by, and collapsed the whole entrance!! I spent 3 hours coughin up dust and movin rock and timber to exit the mine,, When I finally got out I found this in a saddlebag hangin on a tree branch,,,,
Well I dont know If Jimmy was drunk or is just plain loco cause I cant figure this one out??? I mean Hot Tamales and Pez candies (with a fancy Thor dispenser) along with a creamy chicken ramen,,,,Am I supposed to mix these in some sort of magickal elixir,, He also threw in a neat bottle opener and a cool DPG cigar cutter. Now lets talk about the sticks,,, yes the sticks ,,, an incredibly awesome assortment of smoking bliss...... Its easy to see why just the mere mention of this outlaws name strikes fear in the hearts of those who have tangled with this renegade!!,

TO BE CONTINUED.......



Thanks JJ Go Raiders!!!! LMAO