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Difficult Time

I'm not one that usually complains or asks for simpathy but this is something that has been bothering me for going on 3 weeks. I'm on paid administrative leave from work right now for something that happened.

Before anyone asks no I didn't kill anyone and no one is hurt. Actually I'm greatful that I still have my health. It was bad the first 2 weeks but I had my dad here so it helped to have someone to talk to and stay busy with. This past week has been the worst because I don't have anyone during the day. I try to stay busy but there is only so much I can do before I start thinking about it again.

I've heard from many different people that things will be alright and that I should be back to work soon. Easy for them to say when they are there working and not having to worry about possibly losing their job. I will say that I now know who my true friends are. Not know what will happen is the hard part for me right now. If I need to look for another job I would like to know now so I can start looking, if not then that's great.

I do not know how long this is going to take. I am hoping that this is over quickly so I can just move on. I've learned what I need from this and will apply it the next time I'm in this situation. I just wanted to get that off my chest and thank you BORK's for listening. I don't know why but I felt that if I got it out there I would feel better.
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Comments

  • HaysHays Costa del Sol, SpainPosts: 2,338 ✭✭✭
    Buddy....I'm glad you shared this, and I hope that it did in fact make you feel a little bit better. Do you want to share what happened? Or is there anything any of us can do to help?
    ¨The cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears, or the sea¨ - Isak Dinesen

    ¨Only two people walk around in this world beardless - boys and women - and I am neither one.¨
  • Sandman1amSandman1am Posts: 2,567
    Thanks Hays I do feel better now that it's out there. I can not go into specific details as to what happened because my union and lawyers are involved right now. Once it is all said and done I can provide more in detail. For now what I need is thoughts and if you believe prayers. Thanks for asking Hays.
  • HaysHays Costa del Sol, SpainPosts: 2,338 ✭✭✭
    Sandman1am:
    Thanks Hays I do feel better now that it's out there. I can not go into specific details as to what happened because my union and lawyers are involved right now. Once it is all said and done I can provide more in detail. For now what I need is thoughts and if you believe prayers. Thanks for asking Hays.
    No problem bro. Know that you're in my prayers, and I wish the best for you.
    ¨The cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears, or the sea¨ - Isak Dinesen

    ¨Only two people walk around in this world beardless - boys and women - and I am neither one.¨
  • fla-gypsyfla-gypsy Posts: 3,024 ✭✭
    My prayers bro
  • cabinetmakercabinetmaker Posts: 2,561
    Hang in there. No matter comes to pass(good or bad), it too shall pass.
  • gmill880gmill880 Posts: 5,947
    Prayers and best wishes for a speedy resolution brother. Hope all goes your way so you can get back to work quickly .
  • LukoLuko Posts: 2,004
    Wise men said it best before I did, but hang in there, you'll get through it and a few months from now it'll be nothing but a bad memory.
  • RedtailhawkozRedtailhawkoz Posts: 2,915
    Hey Man , My thoughts are with you Bro.... Been in work related situations myself that were a Struggle. This is what I know... JUST FOR TODAY.... Today is all we have bro. yesterdays gone tommarow isnt here yet and any man can fight the battle for just one day. thinking about the what ifs what will be or what could be will Play games with anyone..... Im hear if you need to chat bro.
  • Duder2Duder2 Posts: 926
    Hang in there man, you're in my prayers.
  • jsnakejsnake Kansas CityPosts: 5,800 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I am sorry to hear about this. I always worry even though I know that sometimes things are just out of my hands and I no longer have control over the outcome. The best thing you can do is keep being you and doing what you do. I totally understand about people giving you advice and saying it will all work out. These guys here did and they were right. My troubles worked out and I survived. You will survive too and whatever the situation was I am sure you will learn from it. Will add you to the list of people need some good mojo and prayers. If you need to talk you got my number. BOTL and a brother in blue at heart still.
  • ljlljl Posts: 819
    Like Hays said, thanks for sharing. I hope it helps you feel a bit better. Reading through your post you seem down now, but also like you have a good attitude toward the situation overall. Keep thinking good thoughts when you can and it'll work out.
  • YankeeManYankeeMan Posts: 2,246 ✭✭✭✭
    Best of luck and I hope everything works out for you. Hang in there!
  • undulacundulac Posts: 1,129
    Keep your head up and have a nice smoke. We're thinking of you.
  • Hawk55Hawk55 Posts: 846
    Most of it has already been said... Get through this and you will be stronger for it. Don't give up....Keep busy. I think getting it out helps some, but there is still the strugggle and we BOTL will help you throught that with our prayers and positive thoughts. Be strong BRO!
  • lilwing88lilwing88 ChitownPosts: 2,812 ✭✭✭
    You know your boy at CPD has your back. I'm not gonna tell you "everything will be alright". You and I both know better than that. I've seen good friends dragged through the mud. Some came out clean on the other end, some not so much. All I can say is know who your true friends are. They're the ones that'll stick by you no matter what. Our jobs are very tricky ones, indeed. One minute you're a hero that can do no wrong, the next you're being brought up on charges for doing what you thought was the right thing to do at the time. I've always said, "No Monday morning quarterbacking....." I don't do it because the only person that can decide what to do in the moment is you......

    Too many of my friends have sat in jail for things they didn't do or for doing what they truly thought was the right thing to do. Some got out, some are still rotting. We think as police officers that we're insulated somehow from ever ending up like the criminals we deal with every day. But it only takes one unfortunate incident........

    I keep this poem framed on my wall. I read it almost every day... Hope it helps:

    If....

    If you can keep your head when all about you
    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
    If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
    But make allowance for their doubting too;
    If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
    Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
    Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
    And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

    If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
    If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
    If you can meet with triumph and disaster
    And treat those two imposters just the same;
    If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
    Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
    And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

    If you can make one heap of all your winnings
    And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
    And lose, and start again at your beginnings
    And never breath a word about your loss;
    If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
    To serve your turn long after they are gone,
    And so hold on when there is nothing in you
    Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

    If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
    Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
    If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
    If all men count with you, but none too much;
    If you can fill the unforgiving minute
    With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
    Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
    And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

    by Rudyard Kipling

    Tony, if you ever need to talk to someone that'll understand your situation, feel free to PM me your info. Anytime, bro......
    Guns don't kill people, Daddies with pretty daughters do…..
  • Amos_UmwhatAmos_Umwhat West TNPosts: 5,191 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Redtailhawkoz:
    Hey Man , My thoughts are with you Bro.... Been in work related situations myself that were a Struggle. This is what I know... JUST FOR TODAY.... Today is all we have bro. yesterdays gone tommarow isnt here yet and any man can fight the battle for just one day. thinking about the what ifs what will be or what could be will Play games with anyone..... Im hear if you need to chat bro.
    Wise words, seconded! Good Luck, hold your head up.
    WARNING:  The above post may contain thoughts or ideas known to the State of Caliphornia to cause seething rage, confusion, distemper, nausea, perspiration, sphincter release, or cranial implosion to persons who implicitly trust only one news source, or find themselves at either the left or right political extreme.  Proceed at your own risk.  

    "There is nothing so in need of reforming as someone else's bad habits."   Mark Twain
  • The SniperThe Sniper Posts: 3,910
    Sandman1am:
    This past week has been the worst because I don't have anyone during the day.



    I do not know how long this is going to take. I just wanted to get that off my chest and thank you BORK's for listening. I don't know why but I felt that if I got it out there I would feel better.
    Sandman, as long as you are a part of this community you will NEVER be alone brother! We all love ya, and are always here to listen to and support you. Remember, a burden shared is a burden lightened.
  • Sandman1amSandman1am Posts: 2,567
    I want to thank everyone that not only responded to this thread but also all of the emails, texts, and calls that I got from everyone. All of the kind words, poem, prayers, and thoughts have helped me in this difficult time.

    I still do not have much else that I can pass on as it seems to be a waiting game as of right now. As things develop I will let you all know. I am hoping to find out very soon what will happen with this particular situation.

    What I do know is that I am thankful for all of the BORK's here. Even with all of differeces you all have helped me, and others on this forum, through some very difficult times. No words can express the feelings of knowing that we are a family here....like it or not (lol).

    Thank you once again and keep the thoughts and prayers coming.
  • ENFIDLENFIDL Posts: 5,836
    I'm sorry to hear this man. Prayers for ya. Keep your head up and everything will work out as it should
  • Sandman1amSandman1am Posts: 2,567
    I have an update. My big boss called me a few days ago and told me that it was my turn to pick my vacation for the upcoming year. She went on to say that they were trying to get me back to work as quickly as possible, that they were looking forward to me coming back to work, and that they needed me back to work. She even said something to the fact about getting this mess cleared up and putting it behind us.

    While I am still on leave right now this was very positive for me. The big boss didn't have to call me to get my pick in. Any one of the many supervisors at work could have called and asked me for my vacation pick. She didn't have to say any of those things to me about coming back to work. I do not think that she would have called me at all, much less said that unless she knew that I would be coming back to work soon. I'm not out of the woods yet but things have started to look up.

    Thank you all for your support and please keep the thoughts and prayers coming my friends.
  • PuroFreakPuroFreak Posts: 4,132
    Sandman1am:
    I have an update. My big boss called me a few days ago and told me that it was my turn to pick my vacation for the upcoming year. She went on to say that they were trying to get me back to work as quickly as possible, that they were looking forward to me coming back to work, and that they needed me back to work. She even said something to the fact about getting this mess cleared up and putting it behind us.

    While I am still on leave right now this was very positive for me. The big boss didn't have to call me to get my pick in. Any one of the many supervisors at work could have called and asked me for my vacation pick. She didn't have to say any of those things to me about coming back to work. I do not think that she would have called me at all, much less said that unless she knew that I would be coming back to work soon. I'm not out of the woods yet but things have started to look up.

    Thank you all for your support and please keep the thoughts and prayers coming my friends.
    Glad to hear some upbeat news brother! Hang in there and I hope you're back to work soon! I'll be thinking about you man!
  • The SniperThe Sniper Posts: 3,910
    +1. This definitely falls into the "GOOD NEWS" category sandman! Bosses dont do that sort of thing for people on their way out the door, or for people they are going to let twist. Please keep teh updates coming, and Im sure the one that says this is finally behind you is coming up soon!

  • lilwing88lilwing88 ChitownPosts: 2,812 ✭✭✭
    Great news, buddy..... Here. I thought this article might cheer you up:

    http://www.suntimes.com/news/metro/2837796,chicago-cops-sue-jody-weis-slander-102610.article

    Just thought I'd let you know that there's some success stories out there....

    If you haven't already checked it out, go to secondcitycop.blogspot.com More uplifting and head-scratching stuff on there.
    Guns don't kill people, Daddies with pretty daughters do…..
  • j0z3rj0z3r Posts: 9,403
    Sandman1am:
    I have an update. My big boss called me a few days ago and told me that it was my turn to pick my vacation for the upcoming year. She went on to say that they were trying to get me back to work as quickly as possible, that they were looking forward to me coming back to work, and that they needed me back to work. She even said something to the fact about getting this mess cleared up and putting it behind us.

    While I am still on leave right now this was very positive for me. The big boss didn't have to call me to get my pick in. Any one of the many supervisors at work could have called and asked me for my vacation pick. She didn't have to say any of those things to me about coming back to work. I do not think that she would have called me at all, much less said that unless she knew that I would be coming back to work soon. I'm not out of the woods yet but things have started to look up.

    Thank you all for your support and please keep the thoughts and prayers coming my friends.
    Glad to hear some positive news Tony. I don't know your exact situation, nor do I feel it's my business to know, but I wish you all the best in getting it resolved soon.
  • Sandman1amSandman1am Posts: 2,567
    Thanks again for all the kind words, articles, thoughts and prayers. Not much new is going on. Looks like I'm waiting until the 23rd of this month before anything new develops. It's a slow process.

    It really sucks to go out and see people who I work with. I often wonder what they are thinking and if they are talking smack behind my back or if they are supporting me. Then I remember it doesn't matter they are co-workers and not my family and most are not my friends. Those who are my friends are supportive and have made that known to me.

    Please keep the thoughts and prayers coming. Now onto a new project to keep me busy.
  • Sandman1amSandman1am Posts: 2,567
    Hey guys I could use some thoughts, and if you pray some prayers this coming week. Wed. morning I will finally go in front of the BIG BOSS and should have an answer as to what they decide to do. It's been a long 3 months of not knowing anything. I'm looking to put this behind me one way or another. This forum has been my outlet and sounding post through the good and the bad. Thank you guys for reading. I will soon be able to tell you all what happened.

    What happened to the joke thread?????
  • HaysHays Costa del Sol, SpainPosts: 2,338 ✭✭✭
    Brother - I am thinking about you, and praying that you're able to put this behind you and make some positive steps for the New Year. Keep us posted.
    ¨The cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears, or the sea¨ - Isak Dinesen

    ¨Only two people walk around in this world beardless - boys and women - and I am neither one.¨
  • jsnakejsnake Kansas CityPosts: 5,800 ✭✭✭✭✭
    We got you covered bro!
  • Just found this thread Tony, but wanted you to know I was thinking of you and hope it all turns out the way you want it to.
  • ljlljl Posts: 819
    Good luck man! I'll be thinking about ya' and hoping for the best.
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