Home Non Cigar Related

SWEAR TO F'CKING GOD

2

Comments

  • amz1301amz1301 Posts: 1,299
    Vulchor:
    I have no guns.....do U suppose threatening to knife him to death with a meat cleaver would work the same?
    Try an ax. That's probably a liittle more intimidating.
  • fla-gypsyfla-gypsy Posts: 3,023 ✭✭
    Vulchor:
    I have no guns.....do U suppose threatening to knife him to death with a meat cleaver would work the same?
    Wal-mart has plenty or your nearest sporting goods store. We are talking about your daughter here!
  • jlmartajlmarta Posts: 7,881 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Vulchor:
    I have no guns.....do U suppose threatening to knife him to death with a meat cleaver would work the same?


    Uh, wouldn't that be 'cleavering' him? LOL

    Sorry, Vulchor, I'm making light of a situation that's serious to you and I apologize. Just trying to lighten things up a little - and you know I've got this weird sense of humor.....

  • j0z3rj0z3r Posts: 9,403 ✭✭
    Vulchor:
    I have no guns.....do U suppose threatening to knife him to death with a meat cleaver would work the same?
    Sure, why not? Threaten to tie him down and slowing flay him 1 square inch at a time, pausing after each cut to apply rubbing alcohol so as not to breed infection.
  • denniskingdennisking Posts: 3,703 ✭✭✭
    Heavy:
    Heavy:
    I say encourage him. In time the whole world will know what a retarded douche he is (or at least the 'whole world' that MaxPain can expose himslef to). Give him enough rope to hang himself in other words.
    This is what i'm talking about-- Help him achieve this type of legendary status. I love laughing at people like this. I look forward to laughing at this douche someday. Hopefully you and your daughter will be laughing too.

    image
    I am so happy someone busted out the Stuntaz!!!!
  • ltherronltherron Posts: 60
    Vulchor:
    I have no guns.....do U suppose threatening to knife him to death with a meat cleaver would work the same?
    I quiet man to man talk in a dimly lit room ( preferably a basement with tarps covering a corner and floor) while you are sharpening a Ka-bar or cleaver and you let him know how much you love your daughter and that you're willing to do ANYTHING to keep her safe and happy. Then take the conversation to how fast a hog/alligator can get rid of a body if its in small enough pieces.
  • zoom6zoomzoom6zoom Posts: 1,214
    If mommy and daddy are so loaded, why's he going to community college? (pretty sure the answer is going to be that they'll accept anyone no matter how dumb as long as the check clears). Oh, and you don't want to overtly threaten the yute. It's generally sufficient to be loving cleaning your twelve gauge in the living room. Although a buddy of mine did once tell his daughters date, "son, I've got a shotgun, a backhoe, and seventy acres of scrub."
  • LasabarLasabar Posts: 4,472 ✭✭✭
    Go with the knife Idea... But not a kitchen on, get a hunter's knife...
    Then give him a story:

    "Do you hunt?.... No?... I didn't use to either, but that's because I grew up without a prominent father figure
    But one day, my apartment was robbed, nothing serious, I wasn't home, but the total invasion of privacy had me worried
    I took up hunting to relieve stress and to also buy a gun and have it handy
    Now, I was an older man, not one to take Hunter's Safety at my age I just went out and shot animals.
    Some might say that is just crazy, but it was fun, and I needed an outlet for all the rage building up inside me.

    The funny thing was, I was killing ANYTHING, Moose, Deer, Bears etc... and Do you know that you have to gut and skin each animal differently to be legal, otherwise they take your game and you don't get a trophy???

    Well, I didn't take any course on how to gut and skin my kills so I just winged it, "Who'd notice anyway?" I said to myself...


    Well during this time I noticed that a Game Warden was following me around, and he would come and check EACH and EVERY kill I had... I had to get creative with the gutting and skinning, but each time he'd take the kill from me....

    It got to the point where I would just kill and then gut and skin just to see what he'd say! I'd do crazy things with the carcass, things no hunter would/should EVER do! But he was my friend so just politely took my kill.... It got to the point that hunting lost it's fervor... I didn't want a gun anymore... Just the knife... Just the knife....

    Oh lord, why do I still keep the knives???





    You know.... There's no laws on gutting and killing HUMANS!?!?!? That's right.... If you don't have a Bear tag and ones approches you and you kill it in self defense, you have to gut it and skin it a certain way otherwise you're in trouble....
    BUT, If an intruder comes into your house and you kill them in self defense, there is no other law except that you killed him...



    Do you know the laws of Self Defense???? Me neither.....
  • BigT06BigT06 Posts: 3,899
    The Sniper:
    Al Bundy his a$$. Right now. And get it on video if you can.

    Holy F'n ****... my oldest daughter is about to turn 14. Is this the kind of crap I have to look forward to???

    My oldest just turned twelve!

    Last year, on her first day of middle school, I drove her to school on the back of my Harley Night Train wearing a wife beater and some jeans (about 90% of my upper body is fully tattooed), and I made good and sure that the handle of my boot knife was clearly visible...

    I haven't had a single issue with this yet, oddly enough... lol. In fact, when I took her to the daddy-daughter dance, she didn't get asked to dance a single time (and she is a beautiful girl, I can proudly say)... all the boys just walked by our table and tried not to make eye-contact with me... lol

    Call me a ****, but there is something irreplaceable about scaring the life out of another person. Am I the only one who gets that feeling?
  • stephen_hannibalstephen_hannibal Posts: 4,317
    Lasabar:
    Go with the knife Idea... But not a kitchen on, get a hunter's knife...
    Then give him a story:

    "Do you hunt?.... No?... I didn't use to either, but that's because I grew up without a prominent father figure
    But one day, my apartment was robbed, nothing serious, I wasn't home, but the total invasion of privacy had me worried
    I took up hunting to relieve stress and to also buy a gun and have it handy
    Now, I was an older man, not one to take Hunter's Safety at my age I just went out and shot animals.
    Some might say that is just crazy, but it was fun, and I needed an outlet for all the rage building up inside me.

    The funny thing was, I was killing ANYTHING, Moose, Deer, Bears etc... and Do you know that you have to gut and skin each animal differently to be legal, otherwise they take your game and you don't get a trophy???

    Well, I didn't take any course on how to gut and skin my kills so I just winged it, "Who'd notice anyway?" I said to myself...


    Well during this time I noticed that a Game Warden was following me around, and he would come and check EACH and EVERY kill I had... I had to get creative with the gutting and skinning, but each time he'd take the kill from me....

    It got to the point where I would just kill and then gut and skin just to see what he'd say! I'd do crazy things with the carcass, things no hunter would/should EVER do! But he was my friend so just politely took my kill.... It got to the point that hunting lost it's fervor... I didn't want a gun anymore... Just the knife... Just the knife....

    Oh lord, why do I still keep the knives???





    You know.... There's no laws on gutting and killing HUMANS!?!?!? That's right.... If you don't have a Bear tag and ones approches you and you kill it in self defense, you have to gut it and skin it a certain way otherwise you're in trouble....
    BUT, If an intruder comes into your house and you kill them in self defense, there is no other law except that you killed him...



    Do you know the laws of Self Defense???? Me neither.....
    WOW... this feels kinda dexteresque.

  • ScottCScottC Posts: 38
    Be careful the threatening can be over the top and make you look terrible in the process...

    Last girl I dated her mother's new husband (wasn't even my gf's real dad or adopted father) was only 7 years older than me but the first story he told me was how he took out 10 guys in the parking lot of a bar once. The dude didn't have a real job and did odd jobs and sued people to get by but looked at me as if I was someone out to hurt his "daughter." It wasn't hard to figure out he was trying to intimidate me with this far fetched story. The more you try to make yourself look tough the more you come off looking like a total tool. Ever since then I never really thought highly of him or had much respect for him.

    watch this and you can understand what I am talking about - http://www.todaysbigthing.com/funny-videos/2011/05/16
  • BigT06BigT06 Posts: 3,899
    WOW! i just watched that video. LMAO!!

    that was easily that most misguided attempt at intimidation I have ever seen. literally.

    The fact remains: if you are an actual bada$s, you don't have to tell anybody, they will just know... but you especially don't tell em you "pump young girls"... that was halarious!!
  • denniskingdennisking Posts: 3,703 ✭✭✭
    get him drunk and introduce him to some hot chicks. take some pics of him in "compromising positions" and show them to your daughter. deal done.
  • KriegKrieg Posts: 5,188 ✭✭✭
    At least she was laughing at him, and not being impressed. lol

    "Long ashes my friends."

  • cabinetmakercabinetmaker Posts: 2,560 ✭✭
    I'm still sticking with doughnuts and exlax, let your daughter see him **** his pants uncontrollably - she'll leave him all by herself. BTW, I'm not actually saying I've done this; but I'm not not saying I have either...
  • Vulchor:
    My daughter's boyfriend....whom I admit that I hate (and she would also if his parents didnt have money) is a preppy dressed yuppie white boy whos mother is a Physical Therapist and father is a laywer------Is sitting in the other room with my daughter and b!tching at her because she is laughing at the idea that he wants to start freestyle rapping and make it a possible career or way to "supplement his normal career"----btw, he is also just turned 18 and going to Community College.

    If that werent bad enough, he is kicking around names to call himself...His real name is of course Max (no...nor Maxwell or Maximillion.,...just max)------So far he has thought of "Mad Max, Maximillionare, Maximus Prime, and Maxed Out".........No, this is not a joke.....this is what I have to hear while I try to work from home. Thank you for your support in this difficult time.


    I say, be nice to the little dude. Invite him out for a nice dinner. Take him to the scariest neighborhood you can find, go into the local barbeque or soul food resturant (this will be a treat for you, the food usually rocks!) and, after the food arrives, announce to the entire resturant that you have with you none other than your daughter's boyfriend MC Douchebag, and he wanted to try out some of his freestyle rap to see what you people thought about it! I'm sure there will be some real scary but sympathetic fathers in the croud who will understand and go along with it. Better yet, set it up in advance. On the way home, ask him "so I guess the rap thing isn't going to pan out, eh?". Then laugh your a$$ off.
  • GrazuhGrazuh Posts: 164
    Hippiebrian:
    Vulchor:
    My daughter's boyfriend....whom I admit that I hate (and she would also if his parents didnt have money) is a preppy dressed yuppie white boy whos mother is a Physical Therapist and father is a laywer------Is sitting in the other room with my daughter and b!tching at her because she is laughing at the idea that he wants to start freestyle rapping and make it a possible career or way to "supplement his normal career"----btw, he is also just turned 18 and going to Community College.

    If that werent bad enough, he is kicking around names to call himself...His real name is of course Max (no...nor Maxwell or Maximillion.,...just max)------So far he has thought of "Mad Max, Maximillionare, Maximus Prime, and Maxed Out".........No, this is not a joke.....this is what I have to hear while I try to work from home. Thank you for your support in this difficult time.
    I say, be nice to the little dude. Invite him out for a nice dinner. Take him to the scariest neighborhood you can find, go into the local barbeque or soul food resturant (this will be a treat for you, the food usually rocks!) and, after the food arrives, announce to the entire resturant that you have with you none other than your daughter's boyfriend MC Douchebag, and he wanted to try out some of his freestyle rap to see what you people thought about it! I'm sure there will be some real scary but sympathetic fathers in the croud who will understand and go along with it. Better yet, set it up in advance. On the way home, ask him "so I guess the rap thing isn't going to pan out, eh?". Then laugh your a$$ off.
    If you do this - I would suggest leaving out the "you people" part.
  • VulchorVulchor Posts: 4,848 ✭✭✭✭
    LOLLLLLLLLLLLLL.......all good ideas. If only my wife we as understanding of an aggressive final solution to the Max question as I am.
  • Grazuh:
    Hippiebrian:
    Vulchor:
    My daughter's boyfriend....whom I admit that I hate (and she would also if his parents didnt have money) is a preppy dressed yuppie white boy whos mother is a Physical Therapist and father is a laywer------Is sitting in the other room with my daughter and b!tching at her because she is laughing at the idea that he wants to start freestyle rapping and make it a possible career or way to "supplement his normal career"----btw, he is also just turned 18 and going to Community College.

    If that werent bad enough, he is kicking around names to call himself...His real name is of course Max (no...nor Maxwell or Maximillion.,...just max)------So far he has thought of "Mad Max, Maximillionare, Maximus Prime, and Maxed Out".........No, this is not a joke.....this is what I have to hear while I try to work from home. Thank you for your support in this difficult time.


    I say, be nice to the little dude. Invite him out for a nice dinner. Take him to the scariest neighborhood you can find, go into the local barbeque or soul food resturant (this will be a treat for you, the food usually rocks!) and, after the food arrives, announce to the entire resturant that you have with you none other than your daughter's boyfriend MC Douchebag, and he wanted to try out some of his freestyle rap to see what you people thought about it! I'm sure there will be some real scary but sympathetic fathers in the croud who will understand and go along with it. Better yet, set it up in advance. On the way home, ask him "so I guess the rap thing isn't going to pan out, eh?". Then laugh your a$$ off.


    If you do this - I would suggest leaving out the "you people" part.


    Wow, I didn't even stop and think about how that would sound! I say you people to everyone, but I guess that came out wrong. I am very sorry, really.
  • The_KidThe_Kid Posts: 7,869 ✭✭✭
    ltherron:
    Love him in that role,,lmao..when i first read what the hippie said I didnt even notice it, but once attention was brought to it , I was like uh oh..lol..totally taken out of context but given the scenario, different words would definately be in order..
  • GrazuhGrazuh Posts: 164
    ltherron:
    lol! I was actually thinking about Tropic Thunder as I wrote that.
  • Bob_LukenBob_Luken Posts: 10,710 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Vulchor:
    My daughter's boyfriend....whom I admit that I hate (and she would also if his parents didnt have money) is a preppy dressed yuppie white boy whos mother is a Physical Therapist and father is a laywer------Is sitting in the other room with my daughter and b!tching at her because she is laughing at the idea that he wants to start freestyle rapping and make it a possible career or way to "supplement his normal career"----btw, he is also just turned 18 and going to Community College.

    If that werent bad enough, he is kicking around names to call himself...His real name is of course Max (no...nor Maxwell or Maximillion.,...just max)------So far he has thought of "Mad Max, Maximillionare, Maximus Prime, and Maxed Out".........No, this is not a joke.....this is what I have to hear while I try to work from home. Thank you for your support in this difficult time.
    Necro time! :)

    So, I stumbled across this old thread and now I'm dying to know,.........Vulchor, (it's been three years now,) what became of maxipunk?
  • catfishbluezzcatfishbluezz Posts: 7,000 ✭✭✭
    Marker:
    Shoot him. Do us all a favor. Pretty soon he will be on Youtube with some crappy song where he says 'Friday' 80 times in a song and annoys us for eternity.
    i love this...
  • CharlieHeisCharlieHeis Posts: 8,510 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Entertaining thread. I can't imagine why girls date some of these douchebags.
  • Bad_MonkeyBad_Monkey Posts: 110
    offer to shoot some video for him. upload it to youtube and post the link here and we will all make you feel better with a newsletter campaign
  • Ken_LightKen_Light Posts: 3,537 ✭✭✭
    My guess is he got fat and calls himself Imax.
    ^Troll: DO NOT FEED.
  • First_WarriorFirst_Warrior Posts: 3,416 ✭✭✭✭✭
    The Marine Corps is always looking for a few good rappers. Get him drunk and help him enlist and your troubles will be over.
  • EulogyEulogy Posts: 2,463 ✭✭✭✭✭
    This was pretty interesting thread.
  • VulchorVulchor Posts: 4,848 ✭✭✭✭
    Prickface.....is still around.
Sign In or Register to comment.