Side Effects ... LMAO
gmill880
Posts: 5,947 ✭
Is it just me or does every medication being pumped on TV have absurd , incredible side effects , many times they are worse than what the meds are taken for .
ACME ointment creme for the treatment of poison ivy . Will reduce itching and burning in most test patients by 50 % .
Some patients have reported these side effects : Anger control issues , homicidal thoughts , itching **** , sagging t!ts , weak eye , pink eye , nervous twitches , kidney failure , lung failure , heart failure , club foot , hunch back , hair loss , abnormal hair growth , gum disease , numbness of limbs , trouble concentrating , sleeplessness , loss of appetite , in-grown toenails , torrets syndrome , lack of control of bodily functions , brain tumors , amnesia , dry humping potted plants , tooth enamel loss , knobby knees , loss of hearing , cancer , colitis , trouble balancing check book , and a burning desire to listen to Bobby Goldsboro tapes !!!!!!!!!! And in rare cases DEATH !!!
Holy F'in **** ... I'll just itch for a few days , thank you very much !!!
ACME ointment creme for the treatment of poison ivy . Will reduce itching and burning in most test patients by 50 % .
Some patients have reported these side effects : Anger control issues , homicidal thoughts , itching **** , sagging t!ts , weak eye , pink eye , nervous twitches , kidney failure , lung failure , heart failure , club foot , hunch back , hair loss , abnormal hair growth , gum disease , numbness of limbs , trouble concentrating , sleeplessness , loss of appetite , in-grown toenails , torrets syndrome , lack of control of bodily functions , brain tumors , amnesia , dry humping potted plants , tooth enamel loss , knobby knees , loss of hearing , cancer , colitis , trouble balancing check book , and a burning desire to listen to Bobby Goldsboro tapes !!!!!!!!!! And in rare cases DEATH !!!
Holy F'in **** ... I'll just itch for a few days , thank you very much !!!
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"If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed. If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." -- Mark Twain
Me too Doug me too !!! Blows my mind ... where is natural selection when you need it ???
Massive open stab wound in your leg? Here! Lets cram a syringe attached to a bag of saline in it and wave it around to irrigate the wound!
Two inch long "splinter" lodged subcutaneously in your chest that just broken thru due to infection after festering in your body for two months? No problem! We will just widen the wound with a scalpel so we can see what we're doing, go in there with tweezers and rip it out! Whats that? Oh, no anesthesia or painkilling injection necessary. Now just lie still...
Think you blew your knee out? Well, MRI's are too expensive, so instead we will stick a three inch needle in the joint, under the kneecap and between the femur and shin bone and draw out some fluid so we can analyze it. Of course we're going to have to strap you down to a table so you dont move. And after we get you strapped in... by the way, I wont actually be doing the sample. That will be done by my orderly who is two months out of his technical school - with a couple DOZEN oops, sorry's and almost had it that time's thrown in for flavor. (This one brought to you by the US military - dont tell US we have no sense of humor!)
Add to this advertisements for pharmecuticals like Gene mentioned - What? Cant get it up? Man do we have a pill for you! Yeah, there's a CHANCE it will blow a blood vessel or even stop your ticker - but whats more important? You DO want to be a MAN again, dont you?
I tell ya boys, you just gotta laugh! :-)