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Recommend me a cheap, bad cigar

xmacroxmacro Posts: 3,402 ✭
in Ratings & Reviews
I need a box of cigars for a prank. But these have got to be REALLY bad cigars - the kind that'll have the smoker spitting and throwing the entire thing out; a cigar so bad that the smoker won't even attempt to smoke the entire thing. They need to be about 50 gauge and look like quality on the outside (good smell is a definite plus), but smoke terrible. Since its a prank, they also need to be dirt cheap.

Any recommendations?

Comments

  • bigharpoonbigharpoon Posts: 2,963 ✭✭✭
    Consuegra...the only cigar I've ever stomped out.
  • betasynnbetasynn Posts: 1,249 ✭
    Just buy a box of white owls or something, and re-band them.
  • xmacroxmacro Posts: 3,402 ✭
    Yeah, I plan to reband them all to look like top notch smokes.

    Those cigars you recommended, would they be bad enough for even a novice (who has no sense of 'tasting' cigars) to spit and throw out?
  • betasynnbetasynn Posts: 1,249 ✭
    They're gas station cigars. What you could do, though, is infuse them with something special. Something that smells earthy, but tastes like crud. Maybe actual dirt, or something of that nature, but go ahead and 'smoke' one (take a puff, consistently not good throughout.) They're machine made. VERY sweet. Might want to maybe put red pepper flakes in using a needle or something.
  • gmill880gmill880 Posts: 5,947 ✭
    Bock Y Ca- A box of robustos is about 30 bucks.....only cigar I could only smoke half of. Also a Helix Remix Cafe Royal - some of you veterans may remember I likened this smoke to what I thought a goats a$$ on fire would probably taste like ...
  • Garen BGaren B Posts: 977
    I remember that review, still wondering how you know what a goat ass on fire tastes like.

    Never had em, but I'm going to throw Philly Blunts' hat into the ring. Say that they are a new type of Nub cigar.
  • KriegKrieg Posts: 5,188 ✭✭✭
    Swisher Sweets! God awful cigars, just totally God awful cigars.

    "Long ashes my friends."

  • zoom6zoomzoom6zoom Posts: 1,214 ✭
    Just get pretty much any house label from Thompson's.
  • kuzi16kuzi16 Posts: 14,633 ✭✭✭✭
    zoom6zoom:
    Just get pretty much any house label from Thompson's.
    no dont order from them. then you will be on their mailing list FOREVER!! that and they are slow and who knows if youll even get what you order.
    Kuzi's Forum Links Page
  • Rob1110Rob1110 Posts: 1,577 ✭✭✭
    El Duque. They're cognac infused cigars that are shipped in glass tubes for a nice presentation, look decent, smell nice, even smell nice when they smoke, but that's where it stops. They taste TERRIBLE. Better off burning them as incense.
  • Dude LoveDude Love Posts: 315
    That is a cruel, cruel, prank. Be sure to post the results! Hahaha.
  • nsezellnsezell Posts: 294
    what about garcia y vega?  never touched em, but they sure look nasty...

    concerning swisher sweets...yuck, but they don't really look like good cigars.  They have that wierd looking hole rolled into them, and they stink of sugar before you even light them.  They're so sweet your hands get sticky just touching them, lol. /end wall of txt...
  • madurofanmadurofan Posts: 6,219 ✭✭✭
    gmill880:
    a goats a$$ on fire would probably taste like ...
    Speaking of hooved animals. Where is Urbino and his donkey phuckin' humi resident? Has there been an accident? Did I miss the candlelight vigil?
  • Garen BGaren B Posts: 977
    madurofan:
    gmill880:
    a goats a$$ on fire would probably taste like ...
    Speaking of hooved animals. Where is Urbino and his donkey phuckin' humi resident? Has there been an accident? Did I miss the candlelight vigil?
    I think the general consensus was that you, Urbi and duty were all the same guy, just different personalities. That or Urbi was around 85 years old and died smoking in his rocking chair.
  • gmill880gmill880 Posts: 5,947 ✭
    Garen B:
    madurofan:
    gmill880:
    a goats a$$ on fire would probably taste like ...
    Speaking of hooved animals. Where is Urbino and his donkey phuckin' humi resident? Has there been an accident? Did I miss the candlelight vigil?
    I think the general consensus was that you, Urbi and duty were all the same guy, just different personalities. That or Urbi was around 85 years old and died smoking in his rocking chair.

    I feel a field trip coming on ...be nothin for us to show up at your door to see what the he-lls up with ya guys ...yall better get to postin LMAO...
  • madurofanmadurofan Posts: 6,219 ✭✭✭
    gmill880:
    Garen B:
    madurofan:
    gmill880:
    a goats a$$ on fire would probably taste like ...
    Speaking of hooved animals. Where is Urbino and his donkey phuckin' humi resident? Has there been an accident? Did I miss the candlelight vigil?
    I think the general consensus was that you, Urbi and duty were all the same guy, just different personalities. That or Urbi was around 85 years old and died smoking in his rocking chair.

    I feel a field trip coming on ...be nothin for us to show up at your door to see what the he-lls up with ya guys ...yall better get to postin LMAO...
    LMAO. This is the second time of been accused of being someone's split personality. The first time I as kuzi's.

    People have alsways come and gone on this board it just the nature of it. I hope Urbi and doody show back up though.
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