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drum roll please

webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭
My birthday comes July 8th. Less than two months away. I will be 66, and finally collect a Social Security pittance. To celebrate, I propose a contest. I have this fresh batch of hand rolled perfectos drying out and shaping up right now:
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A simple recipe: Criollo 98 filler inside a Dominican binder inside an Ecuadorian maduro wrapper. Smooth medium body no bite. Smoked one just last night. Way too young; needs some drying out to burn right; a bit tight packed; but an absolutely awesome flavor with zero bite.
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I am still far from mastering the small perfecto shape. I recently came to the conclusion that when I try real hard to be careful, all that I accomplish is it takes for freaking ever and comes out misshapen. So this my first batch of the year I just rolled them quick as I can. I figure if I have to roll a thousand perfectos before I master this double pointy thing, then I'd better get on with it, or I'll never reach a thou. Before the contest is over, I'm sure I'll have completed a half dozen more batches. This particular blend will probably hold out for another batch of ten at least. Then I'll move to other blends, until my baccy is all gone.

They smell absolutely delicious, this blend. Whole Leaf Tobacco leaf rocks, is all I can say. I have bought leaf from Leaf Only, and those guys leaf sucked donkey dongles compared to WLT leaf. No lie. But I digress.

Now take a gander at this:
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You are looking at a Punch Champion. Punch / Hoyo is the brand; champion is what they call their oddball vitola. I call it a drumstick. Four and a half inches long by 60 ring gauge. Odd shape, yes. Chicken drumstick. But there is a method behind their madness. You light this fat end here:
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You taste this coffee, bitter maduro flavor. In a matter of fifteen minutes, that lit end climbs up to the bulb:
image
... and the flavor exPLODEs. Your simple cup of coffee becomes a great big mug of creamy wonderful espresso. So, the drumstick shape engineers a crescendo of flavor which the tapered end funnels into your mouth. It's actually a great idea. I am convinced they put a different leaf inside that bulb to make it bulbous, too; though I have not dissected one to say for certain. The funnel could stand to be less narrow at the head, cause you have to whack it back to get a better draw; but that might also be because the only examples of champions that I have are seconds, meaning the roller might have made the cone part too tight to pass inspection, for all I know.

Here is the challenge: You make one.

You think you have the golden hands? You think you can roll a cigar? Try this.

First ten or twelve guys who commit to attempt this trick (cause my supply of drumsticks is down to about fifteen) I will mail each of you a package, containing one Punch champion to serve as your example stick, one of my perfectos to smoke (they are fresh off the table, so I would let them age a month or two, if I were you), and, your preference, either two of my favorite Smithdales from FX Smiths' Sons 150 year old cigar factory in McSherrystown PA (which I think are one of the best kept secrets in the cigar world) OR a thirteen and a Perla del Mar. This is a contest you cannot lose, cause it starts right out with free cigars for you. You commit to roll me your best drumstick and send it back. I will compare your champ to one of the example champs I retain. The roller who best approximates what we are looking at here, I will award a truly resplendent prize consisting of all premium hand made cigars. In case of a tie, I'll smoke the two and award the best flavor explosion. Results are judged on July 8th, so you have plenty of time.

For a big close-up view, click on this linky

Shoot me a private message with your address if you are up for this contest. Include your address and preference.

I posted this contest at Fair Trade Tobacco forum first, because those guys are the hands on types. Still some slots left, cause this shape is not for everyone, so I'm posting it here. I have my sites set on another forum as well. So get in while the gettin's good, afore I run out of champs.

“It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)


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Comments

  • MartelMartel Posts: 3,306 ✭✭✭✭
    Very cool, webmost. No way I could roll any shape of cigar, so I won't bother. It'll be interesting to see the results.
    Intelligence is knowing that a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

    I like Oliva and Quesada (including Regius) a lot.  I will smoke anything, though.
  • WaltBasilWaltBasil Posts: 1,757 ✭✭✭
    This has to be the most cool contest ever. I'd enter if I even knew where to begin on rolling a cigar. Aw heck... I'll enter anyways - I'm doing it just to smoke one of your fresh rolled. PM sent.
  • roland_7707roland_7707 Posts: 2,833 ✭✭✭
    Where would one get the tobacco to try and roll one?
    One God, One Truth
  • webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭
    roland_7707:
    Where would one get the tobacco to try and roll one?
    Well, heck, Roland ... I'll even send you some filler, binder, and wrapper. I have plenty. Shoot me your addy and it's done, no prob.
    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)


  • roland_7707roland_7707 Posts: 2,833 ✭✭✭
    Pm'd sir, this should be a fun game.
    One God, One Truth
  • MorganGeoMorganGeo Posts: 2,230 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I've always been wanting to try to roll one. I may make a fool out of myself but I would love to try. Pm to you sir!
  • webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Walt is in.
    Roland will be in soon as I get his address.
    Morgan is in

    I'll prep up some rolling kits.

    I hope to throw a leg over Biffy Bullfrog, my KLR650, on Thursday, and disappear into the Pennsyltucky hinterlands for three or four days. So I will need to throw your rolling kits in the mail by Thursday morning. hence, don't delay sending your address.

    There are an infinitude of fine videos on the internet showing how to roll a cigar. An excellent site on the subject is the aforementioned Fair Trade Tobacco. All the equipment you need is just a board to roll on, a pizza cutter or ulu or such to cut with, and maybe a touch of pectin from the grocery store to glue your leaf down at the head of the cigar so it doesn't come unraveled. That's it.

    Oh, and a beer, a ball game on the radidio, and a known good smoke -- you will definitely need those too.

    I tell you: Even if you don't do crap of a job, just the pleasure you will get sticking your hands in the aromatic leaf, it is a great experience.

    I'm excited. I hadn't thought about kits.

    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)


  • EchambersEchambers Posts: 4,184 ✭✭✭✭✭
    If two of the musketeers are in then so am I if for no other reason than to instigate.
    -- "There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go poke it with a stick."
  • ShadowInTheMoonShadowInTheMoon Posts: 507 ✭✭
    Ill try if there is a slot open
    Way cool idea for a contest and almost happy b day
    Two people with a common goal can accomplish many things. Two people with a common enemy can accomplish even more.
  • webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Echambers:
    If two of the musketeers are in then so am I if for no other reason than to instigate.
    Shoot me yer address and preference
    So far, I've got:

    from fairtradetobacco forum:

    Mad Oshea
    Ben Brand
    Indianamac
    Buck
    BigDog

    from cigar.com:

    Walt Basil (with KIT)
    Roland
    Morgan Geo
    ShadowInTheMoon (awaiting addy)
    Echambers (awaiting addy)

    That's my ten. I could squeeze in one or two more, but after that I run out of example drumsticks.

    Who else needs kit besides Roland?
    Nobody has entered a preference, so I will swing with my fave fave FXSS Smithdale Maduro (I know you guys think I am crazy, but I think you are missing out) and a fine 13, along with the knobbly cheroot perfecto hand made with love and the drumstick example.
    Now I am off to the garage to cook up a lil rolling kit. Might as well smoke a cigar long as I am out there. Might as well hit some Michter's Rye long as I am smoking. Might as well dial some MMA on the toob long as I am drinking. Might as well pack my murdersickle for camping long as I am watching the toob. Might even kiss that old Bearswatter on my way out. If life bites, then I'll try a bite too please.

    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)


  • Puff_DougiePuff_Dougie Posts: 4,599 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I'd like to try this too, if I'm not too late.
    "When I have found intense pain relieved, a weary brain soothed, and calm, refreshing sleep obtained by a cigar, I have felt grateful to God, and have blessed His name." - Charles Haddon Spurgeon
  • ShadowInTheMoonShadowInTheMoon Posts: 507 ✭✭
    Ill be in need of a kit as well if you got one
    Two people with a common goal can accomplish many things. Two people with a common enemy can accomplish even more.
  • MorganGeoMorganGeo Posts: 2,230 ✭✭✭✭✭
    ShadowInTheMoon:
    Ill be in need of a kit as well if you got one
    i may need a kit too. :)
  • rsherman24rsherman24 Posts: 7,212 ✭✭✭✭✭
    We would like some video of the rolling process please
  • webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭
    So far, I've got:

    from fairtradetobacco forum:

    Mad Oshea
    Ben Brand
    Indianamac
    Buck
    BigDog

    from cigar.com:

    Walt Basil (with KIT)
    Roland
    Morgan Geo (with KIT)
    ShadowInTheMoon (with KIT)
    Echambers (with KIT)
    Puff Dougie

    Closed.

    I am all addied up. Cigars going out today. I have to devise four kits, which means apportioning binder. Binder is the one thing I am short of. But I'll find some other which will suit. Then I have to figure suitable shipping. Will try to get those out before I leave tomorrow; but no guarantees. If not; first thing next week.

    Oh, and, way I read it, R Sherman has volunteered to drive to your house and shoot video.

    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)


  • twistedstemtwistedstem Posts: 3,912 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Pretty awesome idea brother!! Can't wait to see the results!
    no matter where you go, there you are.

  • Puff_DougiePuff_Dougie Posts: 4,599 ✭✭✭✭✭
    webmost:
    Who else needs kit besides Roland?
    Shoot. I missed this yesterday. I need a kit. If you don't have one, though, I'll figure it out.
    "When I have found intense pain relieved, a weary brain soothed, and calm, refreshing sleep obtained by a cigar, I have felt grateful to God, and have blessed His name." - Charles Haddon Spurgeon
  • webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭
    So, according to my updated count, all six of you need kits, right?

    No prob. Think I have it all figured out. Just a matter of shoe-horning the time to do it.

    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)


  • roland_7707roland_7707 Posts: 2,833 ✭✭✭
    Thanks man, I might not do a great job, but its gonna be fun.
    One God, One Truth
  • WaltBasilWaltBasil Posts: 1,757 ✭✭✭
    Sorry.. I saw you as already listing me as needing a kit... so I said nothing... Probably should have.
  • webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭
    9114901230801614309626 -- Bellingham
    9114901230801614309633 -- Mapleton
    9114901230801614309640 -- Latrobe
    9114901230801614309657 -- Brandon
    9114901230801614309664 -- Malvern
    9114901230801614309661 -- El Paso

    I'll shoehorn some time in this evening to clue you in as to what's inside each package and what do do with the stuff. A real good place for how-tos is fairtradetobacco.com in the cigar tobacco section. They have been alerted there are c.com contestants and appear to view it as friendly competition between forums. Salt of the Earth folks there.

    Bye for now. Got too much work to do.

    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)


  • roland_7707roland_7707 Posts: 2,833 ✭✭✭
    Let the games begin
    One God, One Truth
  • EchambersEchambers Posts: 4,184 ✭✭✭✭✭
    webmost:
    9114901230801614309626 -- Bellingham
    9114901230801614309633 -- Mapleton
    9114901230801614309640 -- Latrobe
    9114901230801614309657 -- Brandon
    9114901230801614309664 -- Malvern
    9114901230801614309661 -- El Paso

    I'll shoehorn some time in this evening to clue you in as to what's inside each package and what do do with the stuff. A real good place for how-tos is fairtradetobacco.com in the cigar tobacco section. They have been alerted there are c.com contestants and appear to view it as friendly competition between forums. Salt of the Earth folks there.

    Bye for now. Got too much work to do.

    Thank you so much for this opportunity! I have very excited!!!
    -- "There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go poke it with a stick."
  • webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Good Evening

    In your package each of you will find a big Tyvek envelope and a small box.

    Each small box contains an FX Smith tasty plebe perfecto, a home rolled knobbly cheroot perfecto, a "13" robusto, and an example Punch "champion" chicken drumstick shaped figurado. Your task is to replicate the champion drumstick, smoke the rest, and send your drumstick to me. You will notice that this small box has unused postage on it, and is addressed to you. That's cause I was going to mail you these small boxes before the kit idea intervened, requiring the bigger unit. Please use the enclosed postage paid box. Simply paste a new address on the box, put your drumstick in it, and drop it in a mail slot. In this way I hope to dissuade you from going hog wild returning forty eight happy birthday here's a crapload of dog rockets apiece. Cause I know how you guys roll.

    Besides this conveniently small return postage box, there is also a large Tyvek envelope containing leaves.

    You should find several long thick-stemmed reddish brown coarse leaves. These are Maryland 609, and ought to serve as your binder. They are kinked into an L shape to fit into the box. They were grown by my good friend The Tobacco Butcher and aged three years in his barn.

    You should find a fistful of shaggy brown crumbly aromatic leave tucked into the crook of the L. These are Dominican Seco and should serve as your filler.

    If you have a hardware store bag among the seco, that likely contains Paraguay Flojo Africa Ligero. This serves to add a zing to your filler.

    Some also have a bit of Aleman Oscuro 2006. This helped me eke out some more filler.

    Last, there is a thick walled bag sealed with yellow tape. This contains your Ecuador Maduro wrapper. In some instances, I have had to eke this out with a bit of Dominican. The smell should tip you off to the diff, cause the maduro has that odor, where the Dom is relatively neutral.

    That's your kit. Had I thought ahead, I would certainly have bought a buncha leaf for the purpose; but as it is, the whole kit idea was an afterthought which I had to scrounge for. So I apologize, but by the time I portion it out six ways, there's not much more than would make four cigars apiece.

    Here's how you set to work:

    Several things are missing from your package. Beer. MMA on the garage toob. A pin up calendar. Oh, and you want a work surface and a cutter..., so ... You sneak the old lady's breadboard out of the kitchen and lay it on the garage workbench. Pinch her pizza cutter, or an ulu if she has one. You get a spritz bottle full of water. You score a mite of pectin from the grocery store.

    You want your wrapper almost wet, your binder almost damp, and your seco seco, is why they call it seco. Take your spritzer and get to work. Have your leaf in right case before you start. You work a spoon of pectin into enough water to make a paste.

    Crack open your beer and enjoy the leafage aroma.

    Stretch your binder out on the board. Cut off the stem and toss that. Half a leaf ought to make plenty binder. Damp it if it won't stretch. Have your veins up, and the smoother side of the leaf down on the board.

    The filler should be just flexible enough it doesn't bust all up when you gwobble it. Bunch two or two and a half leaves of your filler in your fist. Break off the extra where it stick out and stuff that in your fist. Remove any stem bits. Be sure to wad more where the lump of your drumstick needs to be.

    Lay this bunch on your binder and roll it up into shape. The binder just holds the shape. Your wrapper will dress the shape. Roll it round on the board with your palm to firm it up and smooth out lumps.

    Now spritz the heck out of your board. Lay your wrapper leaf out. This stuff is delicate, so be careful. One half a leaf ought to make one or two wrappers. Remove the inside part with the coarser vein. Cut a clean sharp edge on the outside of the leaf. This will be the edge you want showing when you are done. Wrap. Roll your bound bunch with one hand while stretching wrapper with the other. Just a smidge of pectin glue on your finger to hold the wrapper end in place. There you are. Dry your board. Roll your stick around on the board. Set aside to air. Drink beer.

    Note how the filler leaves stretch the same direction as the cigar. If their stems were still in them they would go end to end. But both binder and wrapper, they go spiraling round. You need to orient those leaves so that their veins go lengthwise. I tend to use too much filler so I tend to plug the draw. Don't do like me. I tend to use too much binder and too wide a strip of wrapper, which retards the burn. Don't do like me.

    Good luck. Enjoy the aroma. The internet is jam packed with how-to rolling vids. The guys at fairtradtobacco.com are ready willing and eager to help you. Tell them I sent you. Check out their cigar leaf section. If you want some more leaf, visit wholeleaftobacco.com. That cat has some serious cigar leaf right there. The real deal fermented for years and all that goodness. Tell him I sent you.

    Let's roll. See, how easy it is:


    Right now I gotta go pack. Was supposed to leave at lunch time; now it's eight PM and I still haven't done a thing.

    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)


  • Puff_DougiePuff_Dougie Posts: 4,599 ✭✭✭✭✭
    "When I have found intense pain relieved, a weary brain soothed, and calm, refreshing sleep obtained by a cigar, I have felt grateful to God, and have blessed His name." - Charles Haddon Spurgeon
  • ShadowInTheMoonShadowInTheMoon Posts: 507 ✭✭
    webmost:
    Please use the enclosed postage paid box. Simply paste a new address on the box, put your drumstick in it, and drop it in a mail slot. In this way I hope to dissuade you from going hog wild returning forty eight happy birthday here's a crapload of dog rockets apiece. Cause I know how you guys roll.
    Now thats just mean. You cant expect me to get a new addy and just have it lay around can you? Ill ship the drumstick... then the rest of the band in another box. Guitar and all ;)
    Two people with a common goal can accomplish many things. Two people with a common enemy can accomplish even more.
  • Puff_DougiePuff_Dougie Posts: 4,599 ✭✭✭✭✭
    It. Has. Arrived.

    image

    Totally stoked to give this a try! Thanks for a cool contest, webby!
    "When I have found intense pain relieved, a weary brain soothed, and calm, refreshing sleep obtained by a cigar, I have felt grateful to God, and have blessed His name." - Charles Haddon Spurgeon
  • Gray4linesGray4lines Posts: 4,691 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Cant wait to see how you guys do. Bring on the franken-gars!
    LLA - Lancero Lovers of America
  • EchambersEchambers Posts: 4,184 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Got my package today. Thanks Webmost! Now to get rolling...
    -- "There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go poke it with a stick."
  • Puff_DougiePuff_Dougie Posts: 4,599 ✭✭✭✭✭
    First attempts not looking too good... Looking back over the instructions, I think I need more beer...

    image
    "When I have found intense pain relieved, a weary brain soothed, and calm, refreshing sleep obtained by a cigar, I have felt grateful to God, and have blessed His name." - Charles Haddon Spurgeon
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