I once swerved at a car I thought was a friend that was pulling away from a friend's driveway (i thought at the time, but he was just driving past) Turns out it was a patrol car. I got a ride to jail in the back of it that night. Don't drink and drive.
Imagine, if you will. 3 brothers go out drinking. The youngest gets in a fight with some guy, his friends jump in and the 2 other brothers get involved. The police are called and the 3 brothers get a free ride in a county sheriff's car.
And that those 3 brother's grandfather just happens to be the County Sheriff. There was discussion as to whether we were likely to get the belt or get thrown in a cell. Our dad was more pissed at having to deal with HIS dad, then having to drive 30 miles to come get us from the jail.
None of us drink anymore. LOL!
In Fumo Pax Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy cigars and that's close enough.
I was a quiet drunk, never got in trouble. The dumbest thing I did was drink more and more for 20 years. At the end I was completely unemployable, living in my mother's basement. Took about 5 years of struggle to get my life back. Don't be like I was, it don't work.
To be fair, tho, she was bouncing on my belly at the time, so... asking for it.
“It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
I bet there is a real story here, probably a hole in the ceiling or floor or wall!
I am a happy man. You have made me very grateful. For this is the very first time that the Crown Jewels have ever been adequately & deliriously praised by an unprejudiced person. Still it is the cigars' own fault that this is so for it is a cigar which excites envy & jealousy in the smoker because he knows & feels the truth of which you have said; that there is no other cigar that is just like it. There are cigars which resemble it but only in appearance, not in spirit & not in the ability to dare & do. There is no other cigar that can make a person want to go away & get by himself & think this life over & wonder if it is altogether worth while. I will send you some more when you get out. Let me know. Any man of fine intelligence who is acquainted with Crown Jewels prizes them above any other gems & saves them & hoards them. I gave Harry Rogers a box two years ago & he has them yet. Let me know when you are out.
When I was drinking, back in the day, I hitched a ride, only was too drunk to realize, my ride took a wrong turn, dropped me off in the middle of the woods and I had to walk home, 10 miles away. I crawled in bed just as my mom's alarm sounded. Ended up sleeping all day, both from the alcohol and the walk. On my 18th birthday I quit drinking, and only recently have started drinking again, but haven't been drunk in 45 years. I have managed to learn to control it, i.e. only one drink and stop.
I am a happy man. You have made me very grateful. For this is the very first time that the Crown Jewels have ever been adequately & deliriously praised by an unprejudiced person. Still it is the cigars' own fault that this is so for it is a cigar which excites envy & jealousy in the smoker because he knows & feels the truth of which you have said; that there is no other cigar that is just like it. There are cigars which resemble it but only in appearance, not in spirit & not in the ability to dare & do. There is no other cigar that can make a person want to go away & get by himself & think this life over & wonder if it is altogether worth while. I will send you some more when you get out. Let me know. Any man of fine intelligence who is acquainted with Crown Jewels prizes them above any other gems & saves them & hoards them. I gave Harry Rogers a box two years ago & he has them yet. Let me know when you are out.
I don't really have any "got drunk and" stories. I don't get drunk. I did once. Memphis, october 1981. Once was enough, But, yesterday I rented a cabin for a weekend getaway. While having coffee and an Undercrown shade on the front porch this morning I noticed about a dozen assorted domestic ducks and geese in and around the pond out front. Mind you, I seldom drink Bourbon before dark but at 10:30 am I decided I wasn't driving anywhere today and I broke the seal on a bottle of Eligah Graig. Good stuff too! Now the head goose is giving me the stink eye and he won't shut up his stupid beak. If he keeps this up I may have to kick his ass. (To be continued.)
So many to choose from! Got mad at a bartender once for not serving me. Drove my pickup truck through the enclosed mall where said bar was located! A few large plate glass windows and planters later, I left because it was time to go to work ( 3 am ). Police pulled me over, still had the keg tapped in the back of my truck! Sobered up in the holding cell! That was 35 years ago! Haven't had a drink since!
My first marriage. FTW! It should have been annulled after a week, but I stayed intoxicated the entire 4 years 7 months and 9 days I was chained to the broom rider.
Friends don't let good friends smoke cheap cigars.
I wouldnt say dumbest but maybe funniest is when we put my buddy in the bed of his pickup truck and drove through the car wash. Lol he wasnt to happy
"I drink a great deal. I sleep a little, and I smoke cigar after cigar. That is why I am in two-hundred-percent form." -- Winston Churchill "LET'S GO FRANCIS" Peter
"Tequila makes her clothes fall off" could be my personal anthem. I've never been in trouble, but @jbohon won't let me drink tequila in public anymore...
"Tequila makes her clothes fall off" could be my personal anthem. I've never been in trouble, but @jbohon won't let me drink tequila in public anymore...
I know what to bring to the next herf
"I drink a great deal. I sleep a little, and I smoke cigar after cigar. That is why I am in two-hundred-percent form." -- Winston Churchill "LET'S GO FRANCIS" Peter
I don't want to speak of the ones when I was younger. Too colorful
Now that I am married with kids my only issues are drinking on the couch and ordering random things on the Internet that I shouldn't. Wake up and find a case of ammo, gillie suit, throwing tomahawk, and night vision sitting on the porch and not know why. Now cigars are added to that list
Imagine, if you will. 3 brothers go out drinking. The youngest gets in a fight with some guy, his friends jump in and the 2 other brothers get involved. The police are called and the 3 brothers get a free ride in a county sheriff's car.
And that those 3 brother's grandfather just happens to be the County Sheriff. There was discussion as to whether we were likely to get the belt or get thrown in a cell. Our dad was more pissed at having to deal with HIS dad, then having to drive 30 miles to come get us from the jail.
I blacked out on tequila shots back in the day, and woke up in a strange bed, in a strange bedroom.
I was totally naked, I had scratch marks and bite marks on my chest and lower down, and it was obvious I had had sexual relations. I lifted the covers to inspect my junk when I noticed, someone had shaved it.
WTF said I......
Someone had been laying next to me, and I could hear the shower running in the next room.
I rolled over to find my clothes, when my gaze fell upon the biggest, hugest, most ungodly large pair of panties I had ever seen.......they resembled a piled parachute.
I FREAKED.
I jumped up in total panic, pulled on my pants and bolted out the front door, only to come to a screeching halt at the sidewalk......no shirt, no shoes, no wallet.
Damn, I had to go back in......
I went back just in time to hear the shower turn off, so I snatched up my wallet and bolted once more, not wanting too see what would come out of that bathroom.
Dead stop at the sidewalk again......damn, still no shirt or shoes.....
Cut my losses, and ran to the nearest bus stop.
I was in west covina, 60 miles from home. 4 hours and 6 bus changes later, I'm standing in my own kitchen holding my swollen head in my hands, wondering where my car was.
3 days later the Los Alamitos PD called to ask if my car was stolen, I said no, I got drunk and sort of.....misplaced it. It was parked at the hospital and I needed to come get it before it got towed.
Yes, beautifully crafted beers, whiskey and rum..... just like Reno.
I remember there still being a time or two where we had to watch you closely to make sure this didn't happen, I specifically remember Jay and I laughing about it while he groaned inwardly :P
"When walking in open territory bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask them to stop. If they do not stop, destroy them."
I had quite the alcohol problem when I was back in college, had to quit drinking for 1.5 years before I turned 21 it got so bad. During that time I was in a fraternity which already explains a lot of these types of stories. Anyways the house was officially dry during this time due to a past infraction, so my big brother sponsor and I decide to get in his jeep and go drinking in the freshman parking lot over on the other side of campus in the dead of winter in Colorado. T-shirt and shorts for us both and many many beers later we are running around outside in the parking lot acting like morons. This freshman parking lot is rather unique though as there is a 75' sheer cliff face that borders the western side with a way to climb up it. So in our drunken stupor we decide to do just that, after taking a whizz off the side of the cliff face with our toes hanging off I start to tumble forward in my haze... brother Jim grabs me at the last minute by the back of my shirt and hauls me back over the edge before I take a header to my demise. He then starts to go over the edge so this time I return the favor and pull him back over.
Shortly thereafter the cops showed up and after a royal butt chewing sent us on our way back to the house luckily with no tickets.
There was another "great" story of being smashed on my 23rd birthday and drunkly making a jest about a three way with my girlfriend and her little sister who was there then tackling my girl to the concrete when she bolted... not a good end.
"When walking in open territory bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask them to stop. If they do not stop, destroy them."
This was a long time ago, I'm not like this anymore (Chapter 1, 40 years ago) Shortly after my first marriage we had a party at the house, sometime in the early morning I decided I should have another beer so went to the fridge and there was a mountain of empty cases that dwarfed the fridge. Found a cold one but on the way back to the couch may have lost my balance a little and fell out the window onto the lawn below. New years eve my bride and I went to some friends for a drink, I got pulled over on the way home (before driving while intoxicated was against the law I think), I was having a difficult time getting my license out of my wallet so I just gave the officer my wallet and told him it was in there , he asked me to come back to his car so I obliged, opened the front passenger door and promptly sat on his Stetson. He asked if my wife could drive and I assured him she could so he let us go about our way, said he had been abused a lot and was thoroghly entertained with this pullover. Had a friend enlist in the Navy so some friends went to Seattle to see him off ( or make sure he went off), Back in the mid 70's the Monorail was an elevated track that ran from Seattle Center to downtown, it was a concrete beam maybe 4 or 5 feet wide that was 30 feet in the air. Someone noticed that it was going the same direction we were so we found a way to get up on that. Well we walked a ways and discovered there really aren't any off ramps to get where we were going so we found a way to get off, dont know what the hell we would have done if the Rail came sailing tnrough. Capter 2...continued
Comments
Turns out it was a patrol car. I got a ride to jail in the back of it that night. Don't drink and drive.
The youngest gets in a fight with some guy, his friends jump in and the 2 other brothers get involved.
The police are called and the 3 brothers get a free ride in a county sheriff's car.
And that those 3 brother's grandfather just happens to be the County Sheriff.
There was discussion as to whether we were likely to get the belt or get thrown in a cell.
Our dad was more pissed at having to deal with HIS dad, then having to drive 30 miles to come get us from the jail.
None of us drink anymore. LOL!
Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy cigars and that's close enough.
To be fair, tho, she was bouncing on my belly at the time, so... asking for it.
I bet there is a real story here, probably a hole in the ceiling or floor or wall!
It should have been annulled after a week, but I stayed intoxicated the entire 4 years 7 months and 9 days I was chained to the broom rider.
-- Winston Churchill
"LET'S GO FRANCIS" Peter
I've never been in trouble, but @jbohon won't let me drink tequila in public anymore...
-- Winston Churchill
"LET'S GO FRANCIS" Peter
Now that I am married with kids my only issues are drinking on the couch and ordering random things on the Internet that I shouldn't. Wake up and find a case of ammo, gillie suit, throwing tomahawk, and night vision sitting on the porch and not know why. Now cigars are added to that list
I was totally naked, I had scratch marks and bite marks on my chest and lower down, and it was obvious I had had sexual relations. I lifted the covers to inspect my junk when I noticed, someone had shaved it.
WTF said I......
Someone had been laying next to me, and I could hear the shower running in the next room.
I rolled over to find my clothes, when my gaze fell upon the biggest, hugest, most ungodly large pair of panties I had ever seen.......they resembled a piled parachute.
I FREAKED.
I jumped up in total panic, pulled on my pants and bolted out the front door, only to come to a screeching halt at the sidewalk......no shirt, no shoes, no wallet.
Damn, I had to go back in......
I went back just in time to hear the shower turn off, so I snatched up my wallet and bolted once more, not wanting too see what would come out of that bathroom.
Dead stop at the sidewalk again......damn, still no shirt or shoes.....
Cut my losses, and ran to the nearest bus stop.
I was in west covina, 60 miles from home. 4 hours and 6 bus changes later, I'm standing in my own kitchen holding my swollen head in my hands, wondering where my car was.
3 days later the Los Alamitos PD called to ask if my car was stolen, I said no, I got drunk and sort of.....misplaced it. It was parked at the hospital and I needed to come get it before it got towed.
No more tequila shots.
What you can't forgive......you will become.
Shortly thereafter the cops showed up and after a royal butt chewing sent us on our way back to the house luckily with no tickets.
There was another "great" story of being smashed on my 23rd birthday and drunkly making a jest about a three way with my girlfriend and her little sister who was there then tackling my girl to the concrete when she bolted... not a good end.
This was a long time ago, I'm not like this anymore (Chapter 1, 40 years ago)
Shortly after my first marriage we had a party at the house, sometime in the early morning I decided I should have another beer so went to the fridge and there was a mountain of empty cases that dwarfed the fridge. Found a cold one but on the way back to the couch may have lost my balance a little and fell out the window onto the lawn below.
New years eve my bride and I went to some friends for a drink, I got pulled over on the way home (before driving while intoxicated was against the law I think), I was having a difficult time getting my license out of my wallet so I just gave the officer my wallet and told him it was in there , he asked me to come back to his car so I obliged, opened the front passenger door and promptly sat on his Stetson. He asked if my wife could drive and I assured him she could so he let us go about our way, said he had been abused a lot and was thoroghly entertained with this pullover.
Had a friend enlist in the Navy so some friends went to Seattle to see him off ( or make sure he went off), Back in the mid 70's the Monorail was an elevated track that ran from Seattle Center to downtown, it was a concrete beam maybe 4 or 5 feet wide that was 30 feet in the air. Someone noticed that it was going the same direction we were so we found a way to get up on that. Well we walked a ways and discovered there really aren't any off ramps to get where we were going so we found a way to get off, dont know what the hell we would have done if the Rail came sailing tnrough.
Capter 2...continued