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you can't make this stuff up

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  • jlmartajlmarta 50 miles from ParadisePosts: 7,936 ✭✭✭✭✭
    A bottle of good bourbon (even a VERY good one) is cheaper and way more fun.....  B)
  • webmostwebmost Dull-AwarePosts: 7,813 ✭✭✭✭✭
    ... and prolly more effective

    Now that Spring is finally flingin I'm looking forward to setting my behind out on the cedar lined smoking porch, turning cigars into ashes and hooch into lard. I've accumulated a couple quality tequilas, two or three quality rums, my fave Michters rye, Lafroyd (too lazy to look up the bizarre spelling of that wonderful schidt right now), Woodford, Makers... I don't know what all... all of them desperately needing drunk. Got a stack of books need to get finished. A semi-retired leather recliner which pretty often refuses to un-recline (and who can blame it). Fact, I might just have to go test out that recliner right now. I'm still working on the stash of Uppowoc Jackal home rolls which I cracked into on the first of last month. Think I'll take one of those out with me. They're a simple blend: Honduran seco and viso, with a Nicaraguan binder and a shade grown Habano seco wrapper from Ecuador.

    It's 8:30 now, late enough so I ought to stop working.




    ... that is, if I had any sense

    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)


  • jlmartajlmarta 50 miles from ParadisePosts: 7,936 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Your plan sounds downright homey to me, Tony @0patience. Ain't nuthin' more comfy than home-style.  B)
  • jd50aejd50ae West Gnawed Pencil, TNPosts: 7,934 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited April 2017


    And made in the USA. Get back to the time before Mr Crapper and squat.
  • peter4jcpeter4jc Milwaukee, WIPosts: 12,508 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Don't laugh at what you don't understand, JD.
    "I could've had a Mi Querida!"   Nick Bardis
  • YaksterYakster herf wardenPosts: 20,592 ✭✭✭✭✭
    It actually gives you much better leverage, I've had to resort to something like this on occasion for the really big jobs.
    I'll gladly bomb you Tuesday for an Opus today. 

                  Join us on the New Zoom vHerf (Meeting # 2619860114 Password vHerf2020 )
  • jlmartajlmarta 50 miles from ParadisePosts: 7,936 ✭✭✭✭✭
    And big jobs aren't finished until the paperwork is done.....  B)
  • webmostwebmost Dull-AwarePosts: 7,813 ✭✭✭✭✭
    jd50ae said:


    And made in the USA. Get back to the time before Mr Crapper and squat.
    Are they advertising spray tan there?
    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)


  • Bob_LukenBob_Luken already sucked before joining forum,.....just sayin'.Posts: 9,286 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Yuck. No more poop talk. 
  • YaksterYakster herf wardenPosts: 20,592 ✭✭✭✭✭
    It's an advertisement for butt flap pants, they're making a comeback for some strange reason.
    I'll gladly bomb you Tuesday for an Opus today. 

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  • WylaffWylaff < < < HipsterPosts: 5,379 ✭✭✭✭✭
    It's not that strange...
    "Cooking isn't about struggling; It's about pleasure. It's like sǝx, with a wider variety of sauces."

    At any given time the urge to sing "In The Jungle" is just a whim away... A whim away... A whim away...
  • jd50aejd50ae West Gnawed Pencil, TNPosts: 7,934 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Well, are ya gonna get one?
  • jd50aejd50ae West Gnawed Pencil, TNPosts: 7,934 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Yakster said:
    It actually gives you much better leverage, I've had to resort to something like this on occasion for the really big jobs.
    Actually the science behind it is very sound.
  • WylaffWylaff < < < HipsterPosts: 5,379 ✭✭✭✭✭
    jd50ae said:
    Yakster said:
    It actually gives you much better leverage, I've had to resort to something like this on occasion for the really big jobs.
    Actually the science behind it is very sound.
    Addy up.
    "Cooking isn't about struggling; It's about pleasure. It's like sǝx, with a wider variety of sauces."

    At any given time the urge to sing "In The Jungle" is just a whim away... A whim away... A whim away...
  • jd50aejd50ae West Gnawed Pencil, TNPosts: 7,934 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited April 2017
    @Wylaff = you got it.

    https://www.youtube.com/user/MySquattyPotty

    I also can not post a video

    Could have posted a 20 page discussion. But I figure you guts like unicorns.
  • Bob_LukenBob_Luken already sucked before joining forum,.....just sayin'.Posts: 9,286 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited April 2017
    While I was pooping I came up with a new squat-poop product idea. It's better than the sqatty potty plastic stool because you can put your feet wherever you want instead of being confined to the designated footrests on top of their design. Mine's called "**** stilts". Don't nobody steal my idea OK? 
  • Bob_LukenBob_Luken already sucked before joining forum,.....just sayin'.Posts: 9,286 ✭✭✭✭✭
    5H17 571L75
  • YaksterYakster herf wardenPosts: 20,592 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Phone books used to be the ideal solution... but who has phone books anymore?
    I'll gladly bomb you Tuesday for an Opus today. 

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  • CharlieHeisCharlieHeis South DakotaPosts: 7,427 ✭✭✭✭✭
    These were brought up on vherf one night, I believe @Yakster was there. The Squatty Potty gets very good reviews on Amazon. 
  • jd50aejd50ae West Gnawed Pencil, TNPosts: 7,934 ✭✭✭✭✭
    These were brought up on vherf one night, I believe @Yakster was there. The Squatty Potty gets very good reviews on Amazon. 
    I think that this was one of those start ups that asked for donations. Now every time a toilet flushes.......
  • jd50aejd50ae West Gnawed Pencil, TNPosts: 7,934 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Bob_Luken said:
    5H17 571L75
    You made that up......huh....didn't ya.....
  • jd50aejd50ae West Gnawed Pencil, TNPosts: 7,934 ✭✭✭✭✭
  • webmostwebmost Dull-AwarePosts: 7,813 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Troy Landry's wet dream.
    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)


  • dirtdudedirtdude Livingston MTPosts: 5,321 ✭✭✭✭✭
    This thread has gone to the crapper
    A little dirt never hurt
  • jd50aejd50ae West Gnawed Pencil, TNPosts: 7,934 ✭✭✭✭✭
  • webmostwebmost Dull-AwarePosts: 7,813 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Courtesy Jimmy Kimmel:



    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)


  • jd50aejd50ae West Gnawed Pencil, TNPosts: 7,934 ✭✭✭✭✭
    webmost said:
    Courtesy Jimmy Kimmel:



    You have to wonder how many employees have quit United over this. There is an unspoken boycott going on already and looking to work somewhere else is common sense.
  • jd50aejd50ae West Gnawed Pencil, TNPosts: 7,934 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited April 2017
    So help me, this is a news story.

    6 Month Old Babies are racist.
    They become racist because of the type of music they listen to while looking at pictures.

    Some are calling it race bias. 
    Who's tax money was spent on this?
  • clearlysuspectclearlysuspect Jacksonville, FloridaPosts: 2,124 ✭✭✭✭

    I wasn't sure where else to post this.  The title of the thread seemed appropriate.

    A good buddy of mine asked me to help him go dismantle and move a playset for his son.  His wife had found it for free on a Facebook swip/swap site where the guy described it as "like new.  Wood in perfect condition.  just need it gone." 

    So we went to get it on Saturday morning.  The thing is falling apart and rotting.  Against my advice, he decided he wanted it anyway.  So we dismantle the thing: we detatched the main beam for the swing (which was so rotted I could break it apart with my hands), took off the A-frame side supports, removed the roof, ladder, side-stay supports, and the slide.  Half the hardware just pulled out by hand because the wood around it was rotted.  The only thing left was the main structure which we were going to keep intact and just load into the back of my truck. 

    We go to lay the thing over and the feet just detatch from the base, completely rotted out.  That wasn't the problem.  It was the massive army of huge red carpenter ants that started pouring out of this thing that sent us running for the front yard. 

    We went and got the owner of the house and told him what happened and that there was no way we were going to take this thing now.  Not wanting to just leave a big pile of wood in his back yard we offered to carry it to the curb for him and either the trash can take it or anyone else that's interested.  His response, "And you're just going to leave me with all these ants in my backyard?"  As if we put the ants in his back yard.

    "The ants are your property.  Do you want help with this to the curb or not?"

    "Just put it in the woods back there, right behind that bush, it'll be easier."

    So we put it exactly where he told us to put it. This took about an hour.

    "Oh this doesn't work for me.  This can't stay here.  Did you guys even walk back into the woods?  This needs to go way back into the woods."

    "We put it exactly where you said to put it."

    "Well it can't stay here.  You need to put it much further back into the woods

    "Well, I suggest you go get that skill saw out of your garage and start cutting it up or hire some professionals to haul off your trash.  Have a nice day sir."

    I looked at my buddy.

    "Ed, this isn't "Free Labor Saturday".  I'm leaving.  If you'd like a ride home, I'd suggest getting in the truck."


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