Too close to call (picture contest)

[Intro: Frank Zappa]

The Muffin Man is seated at the table

In the laboratory of the Utility Muffin Research Kitchen...

Reaching for an oversized chrome spoon

He gathers an intimate quantity of dried muffin remnants!

And, brushing his scapular aside

Proceeds to dump these inside of his shirt

He turns to us and speaks:

"Some people like cupcakes better. I, for one care less for them!"

Arrogantly twisting the sterile canvas snoot

Of a fully charged icing-anointment utensil

He poots forth a quarter-ounce green rosette

Near- ha, ha

Let's try that again-

He poots forth a quarter-ounce green rosette

Near the summit of a dense-but-radiant muffin

Of his own design

Later he says:

"Some people, some people like cupcakes exclusively

While I myself I say there is naught

Nor ought there be nothing so exalted

On the face of God's grey earth

As that Prince of foods... the Muffin!"

[Verse 1: Frank Zappa]

Girl, you thought he was a man

But he was a muffin

He hung around till you found

That he didn't know nuthin'

[Verse 2: Frank Zappa]

Girl, you thought he was a man

But he only was a-puffin'

No cries is heard in the night

As a result of him stuffin'

[Guitar Solo]

[Verse 3: Captain Beefheart]

Girl, you thought he was a man

But he was a muffin

No cries is heard in the night

As a result of him stuffin'

[Outro: Frank Zappa]

Bruce Fowler on trombone, Napoleon Murphy Brock on tenor sax and lead vocals, Terry Bozzio on drums, Tom Fowler on bass, Denny Walley on slide, George Duke on keyboards, Captain Beefheart on vocals and soprano sax and madness. Thank you very much for coming to the concert tonight. Hope you enjoyed it. Goodnight Austin, Texas, wherever you are!