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Conversations with the wife.....share your stories.

RolanddeschainRolanddeschain Milwaukee wisconsin.Posts: 810 ✭✭✭✭✭
 Let me preface this by saying I love my wife more than anything! Occasionally we will have discussions which either will begin or end something a little strange. Today, out of nowhere, she asked me "Have you ever noticed that Gimli(our cocker spaniel) and I sort of look alike?"

I've got nothing............
Long days and pleasant nights,

Roland
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Comments

  • Amos_UmwhatAmos_Umwhat West TNPosts: 5,191 ✭✭✭✭✭
    You've just got to learn to speak Woman. 

    Some examples:

    "Oh Honey, you and the guys are having so much fun!  I'll get the dishes when I get back, you have fun." :)

    That means:

    "I'm leaving now.  You'd better figure out how to get these clowns out of my house and have these *&^%! dishes done by the time I get home!" :#

    Like that.

    I think that other than keeping your bazoo shut, as recommended above, you could, if pressed, respond with something like:

    "Oh, I saw on Yahoo the other day where owners look like their pets.  Made me think 'Huh, I look like my pet goldfish Bubbles that I had when I was 9'.  I NEVER thought about you and the dog, though..."

    As safe as that sounds, though, she'll still probably burn you down for it.  They're complex.  Nothing is EVER what it seems.
    WARNING:  The above post may contain thoughts or ideas known to the State of Caliphornia to cause seething rage, confusion, distemper, nausea, perspiration, sphincter release, or cranial implosion to persons who implicitly trust only one news source, or find themselves at either the left or right political extreme.  Proceed at your own risk.  

    "There is nothing so in need of reforming as someone else's bad habits."   Mark Twain
  • YankeeManYankeeMan Posts: 2,246 ✭✭✭✭
    The eternal question, "Does this dress make me look fat?"  The only thing you can do is pretend you don't speak English!
  • SmoothsticksSmoothsticks Central CaliforniaPosts: 537 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Yeah I here that @0patience we could make millions if we just had a restaurant named "I Dunno"
  • webmostwebmost Dull-AwarePosts: 6,103 ✭✭✭✭✭
    0patience said:
    @Smoothsticks
    You will find that their questions are rarely of the yes or no variety.
    If they are, it is usually a trap.

    Just dealing with getting dinner feels like jeapordy.
    She asks what do want for dinner?
    Whatever you are making.
    But what are you hungry for?!
    Food.
    You are so aggravating! Why can't you just tell me what you want?
    Ok. Lasagna.
    I can't make that tonight. 
    Ok then, what can you make?
    Well, what do you want to eat?

    Every night, we go through this.
    Went thru that again just last night... THREE TIMES!

    Finally went to the fridge & found something we had & asked for that ... and got something else instead.


    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)


  • WylaffWylaff Reno, NVPosts: 4,729 ✭✭✭✭✭


    "Cooking isn't about struggling; It's about pleasure. It's like sǝx, with a wider variety of sauces."

    I hate myself, and I don't regret any of it.

    At any given time the urge to sing "In The Jungle" is just a whim away... A whim away... A whim away...

  • AlbinfkAlbinfk Pittstown,NYPosts: 1,943 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited January 2017
    Hilarious but so true.
  • NOGILLS2NOGILLS2 Near New OrleansPosts: 156 ✭✭✭
    My favorite conversation is, heading out for diner.

    me: "Where would you like to eat?"
    Her: It doesn't matter!
    me: " I name my favorite place"
    Her: "Not there, somewhere else!"
    me, "I name my other favorite"
    Her: No not there somewhere else"
    I discovered a bar in town named " Somewhere Else" so I pull up there and she say NOT HERE, and that's when the fight starts!

    SOOOO, now I don't ask I just go where ever I want to go and no complaints yet!
    I am a happy man. You have made me very grateful. For this is the very first time that the Crown Jewels have ever been adequately & deliriously praised by an unprejudiced person. Still it is the cigars' own fault that this is so for it is a cigar which excites envy & jealousy in the smoker because he knows & feels the truth of which you have said; that there is no other cigar that is just like it. There are cigars which resemble it but only in appearance, not in spirit & not in the ability to dare & do. There is no other cigar that can make a person want to go away & get by himself & think this life over & wonder if it is altogether worth while. I will send you some more when you get out. Let me know. Any man of fine intelligence who is acquainted with Crown Jewels prizes them above any other gems & saves them & hoards them. I gave Harry Rogers a box two years ago & he has them yet. Let me know when you are out.
  • Amos_UmwhatAmos_Umwhat West TNPosts: 5,191 ✭✭✭✭✭
    It's nice to know these things aren't just happening to me.  She'll ask "would you like _____________ for supper?" 

    "Sure", I reply, "what're you having?"

    When she tells me I say "OOoh!  I'll have that!"

    And I get it, and she cooks something else for herself.


    WARNING:  The above post may contain thoughts or ideas known to the State of Caliphornia to cause seething rage, confusion, distemper, nausea, perspiration, sphincter release, or cranial implosion to persons who implicitly trust only one news source, or find themselves at either the left or right political extreme.  Proceed at your own risk.  

    "There is nothing so in need of reforming as someone else's bad habits."   Mark Twain
  • EmceeEmcee Pensacola, FLPosts: 132 ✭✭✭
     Let me preface this by saying I love my wife more than anything! Occasionally we will have discussions which either will begin or end something a little strange. Today, out of nowhere, she asked me "Have you ever noticed that Gimli(our cocker spaniel) and I sort of look alike?"

    I've got nothing............
    Oh, honey, you're far cuter than the dog...
  • johnnyBjohnnyB UtardedPosts: 1,541 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Nature of the beast 
    Non Crux sed lux
  • jd50aejd50ae West Gnawed Pencil, TNPosts: 7,754 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I am hard of hearing in both ears, Army and too many days at the range.
    My wife speaks very quietly, even if I could hear I wouldn't hear her.
    Has worked out very well, a nod here, a yes dear there, a very nice arrangement.

    Things changed.

    She put a chair next to my desk, and in the morning when I am having my first cup of Sumatra and my first 5 Vegas Gold she sits, she smiles and she speaks up. I found out the only things we disagree on is the pipeline and her bone head youngest son.


  • ElJimboElJimbo Posts: 678 ✭✭✭
    Bump.
    ¡Prefiero morir de pie que vivir siempre arrodillado! -General Zapata
  • ElJimboElJimbo Posts: 678 ✭✭✭
    ...
    ¡Prefiero morir de pie que vivir siempre arrodillado! -General Zapata
  • ElJimboElJimbo Posts: 678 ✭✭✭
    edited February 2017
    Do not watch if easily Offended,.. or Menstruating.




    ¡Prefiero morir de pie que vivir siempre arrodillado! -General Zapata
  • dirtdudedirtdude Green ValleyPosts: 5,045 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I'll take the 5th
    A little dirt never hurt
  • 90+_Irishman90+_Irishman Loveland, COPosts: 12,440 ✭✭✭✭✭
    dirtdude said:
    I'll take the 5th of whiskey
    Fixed it for you :)
    "When walking in open territory bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask them to stop. If they do not stop, destroy them."
  • TX98Z28TX98Z28 TexasPosts: 1,702 ✭✭✭✭✭
    This thread is why I am NOT married B)
    If you quote me do the @TX98Z28 in your text or I won't be notified of your quote, Thanks.
  • Edna20Edna20 DCPosts: 1,323 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Please keep this thread going! It honestly cracks me up and it's all so true! My husband will give me 5 choices of places to go to dinner and I'll shoot them all down and pick a Mexican place :) He knows if there is a Mexican option in what he gives me, I'll pick it, but hey at least he feels like he won cause I didn't shoot them all down ;)
    Team O'Donnell FTW!
  • YaksterYakster I'm on a Buying FreezePosts: 11,794 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Doesn't work for my Wife, she rarely picks a Mexican restaurant.


    I'll gladly bomb you Tuesday for an Opus today.

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