Conversations with the wife.....share your stories.
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The other day I was in a funny mood and made fun of something the wife takes kind of seriously. She told me: Stop acting like a child. I of course had to tell her: If i'm acting like a child, guess that makes you a pedophile. For some reason that did not go over well at all.Logistics cannot win a war, but its absence or inadequacy can cause defeat. FM100-56
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All our conversations are usually one sided.0
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A customer called me just now.
Dude is 95 years old and still goes in to work at his law firm. Tried to retire, but the wife sent him back to work cause he was driving her crazy hanging round the house. So. Calls me from the law firm wants to order a box of 50 cigars & needs us to ship them to his office cause every time he buys cigars soon as the wife finds out she gives him hell. Wants him to stop smoking.
Wait. Let's rewind this back to the beginning: biddlybiddlybiddybleep
Dude is 95 years old. ...
So. In answer to the question "will she ever learn?"... no“It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
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Darn it, golly gee willikers and shucks. The battery died in my hearing aid and I can't get any more for at least a month. Oh heck.2
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https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/gletscherschauspielhannibal?source=feed_text&story_id=10155170944938632
Not a conversation with my wife, but very proud of the work she does for this project. All the choreography and an acting role in front of 8000 people.
Friends don't let good friends smoke cheap cigars.2 -
After being married 30yrs, a wife asked her husband to describe her...
He looked at her, for a while.
Then said..."You're A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,"...
She asked..."What does that mean?"
He said"Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot..
She smiled happily, and said, "OH, that’s lovely..
What about,I,J,K,?"
He replied, "I'm just kidding...!".....
The swelling to his frickin' eye is going down nicely now, and the doctors are fairly optimistic, about saving his family jewells!!.
"I could've had a Mi Querida!" Nick Bardis6 -
I'll give you a peek into my daily life. The riding mower had a pulley freeze up yesterday. So the wife is going to use the push mower. I come home to her showing me her bruised and swollen hand, talking about it got caught between the handle and the throttle bar. She keeps yelling at me to stop looking at her like that. And my response each time is "you know you could just stop squeezing the handle right"!
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¡Prefiero morir de pie que vivir siempre arrodillado! -General Zapata2 -
1 hour ago:
Oh my gosh, thanks hon!
59 minutes ago:
Hey look! It's got a pad for your bad knees!
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5 minutes ago:
What happenned..?
¡Prefiero morir de pie que vivir siempre arrodillado! -General Zapata0 -
It could be worse.
This was a conversation a little while ago.
Hey, what's the combo to the safe?
"Why? What do you need?"
I wanted a little spending money.
"You have the card for that."
It's low.
"Are you kidding me? You just put $500 on it!!"
Ok, but I was just gonna see how much was in there.
"Fine, I'll open it for you, so you can see."
Hmm, that was awful easy.
"What's that?"
Nothing.
"There, it's open. Make sure you close it when you're done."
Ok Scrooge McDuck.
"What?"
Nothing.
Ok, this is what I'm looking for.
Thought there was more in here.
Hmm, what's this?
Hey! Did you know there was a secret compartment in here?
"No!!!! Put that back and get away from there."
WTF? You KNEW about it??
"It's money I hide from you, so we HAVE money, so HANDS OFF!!"
Ok fine. I'm not a 5 year old, I can take care of money.
"Yes, cause you did so well with that $500, didn't you."
Uhmm.............crap.In Fumo Pax
Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy cigars and that's close enough.Wylaff said:Atmospheric pressure and crap.5
https://youtu.be/RrYB-ZvIuPE
