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Funions and Fabylons

webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭
edited February 2020 in Non Cigar Related
https://genesiustimes.com/breaking-bernie-sanders-listed-vladimir-putin-as-a-significant-other-on-1964-mortgage-application/

When funny fake news is funner than the other kind.

https://babylonbee.com/news/man-forced-to-apologize-for-whatever-he-did-in-wifes-dream-last-night


“It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
Post edited by webmost on
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    Bob_LukenBob_Luken Posts: 10,106 ✭✭✭✭✭

    So, you don't want no more fake made-up satire news on the "you can't make this stuff up" thread?

    Got it.

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    webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭

    I been puttin it there for lack of a better

    But the preposterous seems to fall into two categories

    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
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    webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭

    A newly available home in San Francisco has been listed for $1.5 million. The house is said to be a "spacious, open-concept turnkey home for the budget-minded."

    https://babylonbee.com/news/soggy-cardboard-box-full-of-needles-sells-for-15-million-in-san-francisco-housing-market


    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
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    webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭
    https://babylonbee.com/news/bernie-sanders-cobbles-together-makeshift-raft-to-sail-over-and-experience-cubas-world-class-medical-care

    Always love me some Bee

    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
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    webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭
    http://www.mayopete.io/


    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
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    webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭
    https://genesiustimes.com/aoc-demands-neighbors-toyota-corona-be-quarantined-while-awaiting-test-results/


    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
  • Options
    webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭
    https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-i-am-the-only-candidate-who-can-beat-ronald-reagan


    This new forum software has an awesome way of posting links with a thumbnail, dunnit?

    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
  • Options
    webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭
    https://babylonbee.com/news/new-law-would-allow-millennials-to-stay-on-their-parents-netflix-account-until-theyre-35

    ... because NetFlix is a basic human right.

    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
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    Amos_UmwhatAmos_Umwhat Posts: 8,462 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Well, you have to have something to watch while Mom makes your bed, fixes your meals, washes your clothes and cleans up after your dog, don't you?

    WARNING:  The above post may contain thoughts or ideas known to the State of Caliphornia to cause seething rage, confusion, distemper, nausea, perspiration, sphincter release, or cranial implosion to persons who implicitly trust only one news source, or find themselves at either the left or right political extreme.  Proceed at your own risk.  

    "If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed.  If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." --  Mark Twain
  • Options
    deadmandeadman Posts: 8,804 ✭✭✭✭✭
    ^ sad thing is you’re probably correct on that statement
  • Options
    webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Hey, long as it buys votes, right?

    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
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    webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭

    https://genesiustimes.com/after-success-of-****-scented-candle-gwyneth-paltrow-releases-hairy-armpit-and-boobsweat-candles/

    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
  • Options
    webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Adam Schiff just announced he has proof that Trump colluded with the Coronans.

    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
  • Options
    webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭

    CarFox diagnosed with corona virus:

    https://thehardtimes.net/culture/carfax-fox-diagnosed-with-coronavirus/

    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
  • Options
    webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭

    https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-unveils-much-simpler-stimulus-plan-giant-money-cannon

    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
  • Options
    webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited March 2020

    https://babylonbee.com/news/with-everyone-telecomuting-pants-sales-plummet

    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
  • Options
    webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited March 2020

    Covid-19 infects more men and women than all other genders combined!

    https://babylonbee.com/news/covid-19-impacting-men-women-more-than-all-other-genders-combined

    "Finally, a virus that ignores the demiboys, dragonkin, and those who identify as tater tots," said one activist in Portland. "It's about time the tables were turned. Thanks, COVID-19!" He then headed over to his local Communist cafe to lick a doorknob -- "just my little way of showing my gratitude."

    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
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    peter4jcpeter4jc Posts: 15,489 ✭✭✭✭✭

    I like the Bee I saw this morning about CNN now requiring all their employees to lie from home.

    "I could've had a Mi Querida!"   Nick Bardis
  • Options
    webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Social Distancing Guidelines Buzzkill:

    https://thehardtimes.net/culture/open-relationships-closed-indefinitely/?mc_cid=43a1ad6886&mc_eid=48a02f31f0

    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
  • Options
    webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭

    https://babylonbee.com/news/government-sends-out-1000-to-each-citizen-so-theyll-have-something-to-wipe-with-after-money-loses-all-value

    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
  • Options
    webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭

    https://youtu.be/GU0d8kpybVg

    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
  • Options
    webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited April 2020

    https://babylonbee.com/news/facebook-to-award-everyone-printable-medical-degree

    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
  • Options
    webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭

    https://babylonbee.com/news/tragic-bill-gates-had-a-cure-for-coronavirus-but-it-was-wiped-out-by-a-windows-virus

    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
  • Options
    webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭

    https://thehardtimes.net/culture/guy-proud-to-not-own-tv-looks-real-****-stupid-now/?mc_cid=2a7e01da44&mc_eid=48a02f31f0

    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
  • Options
    webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭

    https://thehardtimes.net/culture/woman-diagnosed-with-covid-19-multiple-types-of-rare-cancer-by-webmd/

    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
  • Options
    webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭

    https://babylonbee.com/news/researchers-delay-new-vaccine-until-they-figure-out-how-to-make-it-cause-autism

    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
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    silvermousesilvermouse Posts: 19,327 ✭✭✭✭✭

    lol, you are on a roll Robert, just what I needed this morning. Thanks.

  • Options
    webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited April 2020

    https://genesiustimes.com/millions-celebrate-christ-overcoming-death-on-a-cross-by-cowering-in-their-houses-afraid-of-a-bad-cold/

    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
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    webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭

    https://genesiustimes.com/xenophobia-on-the-rise-as-angry-white-blood-cells-target-chinese-coronavirus/

    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
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    webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭

    New Hampshire has changed what was perhaps the most recognizable state mottos—"Live Free or Die"—to something slightly less catchy: "Live Free or Protect Me From a Cough."

    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
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