A middle-aged couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot. One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach almost every day. She wasn’t unusual nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing; she would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around, and then speak to them.
Generally, the people would respond negatively and she would wander off. Occasionally, someone would nod and there would be a quick exchange of money for something that she carried in her bag.
The couple assumed that she was selling drugs and debated whether to call the cops. Since they didn’t know for sure, they decided to just continue watching her.
After a couple of weeks the wife said, “Honey, have you ever noticed that she only goes up to people with boom boxes and other electronic devices?” He hadn’t and said so.
Then she said, “Tomorrow, I want you to get a towel and our big radio and go lie out on the beach. Then we can find out what she’s really doing.”
The plan went off without a hitch. The wife was almost hopping up and down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk to her husband and then leave. The man then walked up the beach and met his wife at the road.
“Well, is she selling drugs?” she asked excitedly.
“No, she’s not,” he said, enjoying this probably more than he should have.
“Well, what is it then? What does she do?” his wife nearly shrieked.
The man grinned and said, “She’s a battery salesperson.”
“Batteries?” cried the wife.
“Yes!” he replied, “She sells C cells by the seashore!”
WARNING: The above post may contain thoughts or ideas known to the State of Caliphornia to cause seething rage, confusion, distemper, nausea, perspiration, sphincter release, or cranial implosion to persons who implicitly trust only one news source, or find themselves at either the left or right political extreme. Proceed at your own risk.
"If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed. If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." -- Mark Twain
One day an Irishman, who had been stranded on a deserted island for over 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon.
He thought to himself, "It's certainly not a ship."
As the speck got closer & closer, he began to rule out even the possibilities of a small boat or a raft.
Suddenly there strode from the surf a figure clad in a black wet suit. Putting aside the scuba tanks & mask, and zipping down the top of the wet suit, there stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde!
She walked up to the stunned Irishman & said to him, "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a good cigar?"
"Ten years!" replied the amazed Irishman.
With that, she reached & unzipped a waterproof pocket on the left sleeve of her wet suit & pulled out a fresh package of cigars & a lighter.
He took a cigar, slowly lit it, & took a long drag.
"Faith & begorrah!" said the castaway. "Ah, that is so good! I'd forgotten how great a smoke can be!"
"And how long has it been since you've had a drop of good Bushmill's Irish Whiskey?" asked the blonde.
Trembling, the castaway replied, "Ten years!"
Hearing that, the blonde reached over to her right sleeve, unzipped a pocket there & removed a flask & handed it to him.
He opened the flask & took a long drink.
"'Tis nectar of the gods!" shouted the Irishman. "'Tis truly fantastic!!!"
At this point, the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long front of her wet suit, right down the middle. She looked at the trembling man & asked, "And how long has it been since you've played around?"
With tears in his eyes, the Irishman fell to his knees and sobbed,
"Jesus, Mary & Joseph! Don't tell me that you've got golf clubs in there too!
hop on the bus, Gus, make a new plan Stan...just get yourself free
WARNING: The above post may contain thoughts or ideas known to the State of Caliphornia to cause seething rage, confusion, distemper, nausea, perspiration, sphincter release, or cranial implosion to persons who implicitly trust only one news source, or find themselves at either the left or right political extreme. Proceed at your own risk.
"If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed. If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." -- Mark Twain
Open a promo for a sale on a blend I like, see the word "gordo", turn the page.
WARNING: The above post may contain thoughts or ideas known to the State of Caliphornia to cause seething rage, confusion, distemper, nausea, perspiration, sphincter release, or cranial implosion to persons who implicitly trust only one news source, or find themselves at either the left or right political extreme. Proceed at your own risk.
"If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed. If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." -- Mark Twain
We had a secretary at the plant who was more than pleasantly plump, she was a biiiiig woman. One day, she rolled into the parking lot on a moped. My buddy said it reminded him of an elephant riding a roller skate. That mental picture has never left me.
Comments
I got it! I’m old!
Where is the face plant emoji?
Groan
Trapped in the People's Communits Republic of Massachusetts.
@Jrflickster
A middle-aged couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot. One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach almost every day. She wasn’t unusual nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing; she would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around, and then speak to them.
Generally, the people would respond negatively and she would wander off. Occasionally, someone would nod and there would be a quick exchange of money for something that she carried in her bag.
The couple assumed that she was selling drugs and debated whether to call the cops. Since they didn’t know for sure, they decided to just continue watching her.
After a couple of weeks the wife said, “Honey, have you ever noticed that she only goes up to people with boom boxes and other electronic devices?” He hadn’t and said so.
Then she said, “Tomorrow, I want you to get a towel and our big radio and go lie out on the beach. Then we can find out what she’s really doing.”
The plan went off without a hitch. The wife was almost hopping up and down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk to her husband and then leave. The man then walked up the beach and met his wife at the road.
“Well, is she selling drugs?” she asked excitedly.
“No, she’s not,” he said, enjoying this probably more than he should have.
“Well, what is it then? What does she do?” his wife nearly shrieked.
The man grinned and said, “She’s a battery salesperson.”
“Batteries?” cried the wife.
“Yes!” he replied, “She sells C cells by the seashore!”
Ooooaohng
"If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed. If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." -- Mark Twain
One day an Irishman, who had been stranded on a deserted island for over 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon.
He thought to himself, "It's certainly not a ship."
As the speck got closer & closer, he began to rule out even the possibilities of a small boat or a raft.
Suddenly there strode from the surf a figure clad in a black wet suit. Putting aside the scuba tanks & mask, and zipping down the top of the wet suit, there stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde!
She walked up to the stunned Irishman & said to him, "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a good cigar?"
"Ten years!" replied the amazed Irishman.
With that, she reached & unzipped a waterproof pocket on the left sleeve of her wet suit & pulled out a fresh package of cigars & a lighter.
He took a cigar, slowly lit it, & took a long drag.
"Faith & begorrah!" said the castaway. "Ah, that is so good! I'd forgotten how great a smoke can be!"
"And how long has it been since you've had a drop of good Bushmill's Irish Whiskey?" asked the blonde.
Trembling, the castaway replied, "Ten years!"
Hearing that, the blonde reached over to her right sleeve, unzipped a pocket there & removed a flask & handed it to him.
He opened the flask & took a long drink.
"'Tis nectar of the gods!" shouted the Irishman. "'Tis truly fantastic!!!"
At this point, the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long front of her wet suit, right down the middle. She looked at the trembling man & asked, "And how long has it been since you've played around?"
With tears in his eyes, the Irishman fell to his knees and sobbed,
"Jesus, Mary & Joseph! Don't tell me that you've got golf clubs in there too!
oh,, that is strange. I'd like an explanation.
edit: never mind, I found it, Australia has weird problems:
https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2018/dec/31/cane-toads-python-escape-storm-northern-australia-kununurra
hop on the bus, Gus, make a new plan Stan...just get yourself free
"If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed. If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." -- Mark Twain
More strange animal behavior.
https://www.iflscience.com/the-dog-who-kept-pushing-kids-into-a-river-to-acquire-steak-rewards-62917
Cigars are great and so is this
Lanceros are like Mopeds. Great smoke, as long as your friends don't see you.
Cigars are great and so is this
FIFY
🤨
Newbs smh
Open a promo for a sale on a blend I like, see the word "gordo", turn the page.
"If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed. If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." -- Mark Twain
Don't go for that big stick energy.
Cigars are great and so is this
We had a secretary at the plant who was more than pleasantly plump, she was a biiiiig woman. One day, she rolled into the parking lot on a moped. My buddy said it reminded him of an elephant riding a roller skate. That mental picture has never left me.
Sprint sale catches my eye, but every damn time it's gordos!