Resurrecting the Joke Thread
Comments
-
Groan
Trapped in the People's Communist Republic of Massachusetts.
5 -
-
A middle-aged couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot. One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach almost every day. She wasn’t unusual nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing; she would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around, and then speak to them.
Generally, the people would respond negatively and she would wander off. Occasionally, someone would nod and there would be a quick exchange of money for something that she carried in her bag.
The couple assumed that she was selling drugs and debated whether to call the cops. Since they didn’t know for sure, they decided to just continue watching her.
After a couple of weeks the wife said, “Honey, have you ever noticed that she only goes up to people with boom boxes and other electronic devices?” He hadn’t and said so.
Then she said, “Tomorrow, I want you to get a towel and our big radio and go lie out on the beach. Then we can find out what she’s really doing.”
The plan went off without a hitch. The wife was almost hopping up and down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk to her husband and then leave. The man then walked up the beach and met his wife at the road.
“Well, is she selling drugs?” she asked excitedly.
“No, she’s not,” he said, enjoying this probably more than he should have.
“Well, what is it then? What does she do?” his wife nearly shrieked.
The man grinned and said, “She’s a battery salesperson.”
“Batteries?” cried the wife.
“Yes!” he replied, “She sells C cells by the seashore!”
10 -
Ooooaohng
"If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed. If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." -- Mark Twain0 -
8 -
-
One day an Irishman, who had been stranded on a deserted island for over 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon.
He thought to himself, "It's certainly not a ship."
As the speck got closer & closer, he began to rule out even the possibilities of a small boat or a raft.
Suddenly there strode from the surf a figure clad in a black wet suit. Putting aside the scuba tanks & mask, and zipping down the top of the wet suit, there stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde!
She walked up to the stunned Irishman & said to him, "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a good cigar?"
"Ten years!" replied the amazed Irishman.
With that, she reached & unzipped a waterproof pocket on the left sleeve of her wet suit & pulled out a fresh package of cigars & a lighter.
He took a cigar, slowly lit it, & took a long drag.
"Faith & begorrah!" said the castaway. "Ah, that is so good! I'd forgotten how great a smoke can be!"
"And how long has it been since you've had a drop of good Bushmill's Irish Whiskey?" asked the blonde.
Trembling, the castaway replied, "Ten years!"
Hearing that, the blonde reached over to her right sleeve, unzipped a pocket there & removed a flask & handed it to him.
He opened the flask & took a long drink.
"'Tis nectar of the gods!" shouted the Irishman. "'Tis truly fantastic!!!"
At this point, the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long front of her wet suit, right down the middle. She looked at the trembling man & asked, "And how long has it been since you've played around?"
With tears in his eyes, the Irishman fell to his knees and sobbed,"Jesus, Mary & Joseph! Don't tell me that you've got golf clubs in there too!
"I could've had a Mi Querida!" Nick Bardis12 -
oh,, that is strange. I'd like an explanation.
edit: never mind, I found it, Australia has weird problems:
2 -
hop on the bus, Gus, make a new plan Stan...just get yourself free
"If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed. If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." -- Mark Twain4 -
More strange animal behavior.
https://www.iflscience.com/the-dog-who-kept-pushing-kids-into-a-river-to-acquire-steak-rewards-62917
Join us on Zoom vHerf (Meeting # 2619860114 Password vHerf2020 )5 -
-
Lanceros are like Mopeds. Great smoke, as long as your friends don't see you.
1 -
@11thGenSoutherner said:
Gordos are like Mopeds. Great smoke, as long as your friends don't see you.FIFY
Join us on Zoom vHerf (Meeting # 2619860114 Password vHerf2020 )8 -
@11thGenSoutherner said:
Lanceros are like Mopeds. Great smoke, as long as your friends don't see you.🤨
If it don’t bother me, it don’t bother me. Just leave me alone.
6 -
Newbs smh
5 -
Open a promo for a sale on a blend I like, see the word "gordo", turn the page.
"If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed. If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." -- Mark Twain4 -
@Yakster said:
@11thGenSoutherner said:
Gordos are like Mopeds. Great smoke, as long as your friends don't see you.FIFY
Copied a comment on a YouTube video. But I agree, it should have been gordo's. I'd prefer a lancero over one anyday
0 -
We had a secretary at the plant who was more than pleasantly plump, she was a biiiiig woman. One day, she rolled into the parking lot on a moped. My buddy said it reminded him of an elephant riding a roller skate. That mental picture has never left me.
"I could've had a Mi Querida!" Nick Bardis6 -
@Amos_Umwhat said:
Open a promo for a sale on a blend I like, see the word "gordo", turn the page.Sprint sale catches my eye, but every damn time it's gordos!
4 -
"I pay, therefore I am."
-Rene Desparkes"I could've had a Mi Querida!" Nick Bardis10 -
![]"I could've had a Mi Querida!" Nick Bardis8
https://youtu.be/3qqE_WmagjY
