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Stupid **** that pops into my head

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  • First_WarriorFirst_Warrior Posts: 3,426 ✭✭✭✭✭

    I use oil packed anchovies and I rinse them to take the salt down a bit.

  • peter4jcpeter4jc Posts: 16,506 ✭✭✭✭✭

    The fella running for GA senator, Warnock, sure looks a lot like who keeps popping up in the Ceasars sportsbook commercials.

    "I could've had a Mi Querida!"   Nick Bardis
  • d_bladesd_blades Posts: 3,973 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited December 2022

    Why did the take the high beams off the floorboard and why did they move the side for the gas cap?

    Don't let the wife know what you spend on guns, ammo or cigars.

  • Trykflyr_1Trykflyr_1 Posts: 2,514 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Is an escalator ever truly broken? Short of catastrophic structural failure, that is….

    I'm still troubled by what I did for that Klondike bar...
  • Hobbes86Hobbes86 Posts: 3,184 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @Trykflyr_1 said:
    Is an escalator ever truly broken? Short of catastrophic structural failure, that is….

    No, they are never broken, they just become stairs. At least, that is the case according to Mitch Hedberg.

    "Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another." - Proverbs 27:17

  • Bob_LukenBob_Luken Posts: 10,734 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited December 2022

    @Trykflyr_1 said:
    Is an escalator ever truly broken? Short of catastrophic structural failure, that is….

    I saw a scary video once of a fully loaded escalator that failed and the weight of all the people sent it into high speed downward motion and bodies were piling up at the bottom.

    P.S. I went on youtube and saw a bunch of videos of this very thing happening. Seems like a malfunction that they should anticipate and have failsafe backup to lock it in place but apparently it still happens.
    https://youtu.be/4uAaGmux9VE

    Post edited by Bob_Luken on
  • Amos_UmwhatAmos_Umwhat Posts: 8,836 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @peter4jc said:
    When someone is being murdered by suffocation with a plastic bag over their head, why instead of flailing their arms trying to get at their attacker, don't they just poke a hole in the bag over their mouth?

    Ruins the story line

    WARNING:  The above post may contain thoughts or ideas known to the State of Caliphornia to cause seething rage, confusion, distemper, nausea, perspiration, sphincter release, or cranial implosion to persons who implicitly trust only one news source, or find themselves at either the left or right political extreme.  Proceed at your own risk.  

    "If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed.  If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." --  Mark Twain
  • VegasFrankVegasFrank Posts: 18,158 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Cowboy hats, red and white checkered tablecloths, and a potato salad dispenser.

    Disclaimer:  All trolling is provided for the sole entertainment purposes of the author only. Readers may find entertainment and hard core truths, but none are intended. Any resulting damaged feelings or arse chapping of the reader are the sole responsibility of the reader, to include, but not limited to: crying, anger, revenge pørn, and abandonment or deletion of ccom accounts. Offer void in Utah because Utah is terrible.
  • StubbleStubble Posts: 9,010 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @VegasFrank said:
    Cowboy hats, red and white checkered tablecloths, and a potato salad dispenser.

    You'll come back for the boat ride....

    Hey, you gonna eat the rest of that corndog?
  • Amos_UmwhatAmos_Umwhat Posts: 8,836 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Would the term "Radical conservative" be an oxymoron? Or, a contradiction in terms?

    No wonder I can't sleep at night.

    WARNING:  The above post may contain thoughts or ideas known to the State of Caliphornia to cause seething rage, confusion, distemper, nausea, perspiration, sphincter release, or cranial implosion to persons who implicitly trust only one news source, or find themselves at either the left or right political extreme.  Proceed at your own risk.  

    "If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed.  If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." --  Mark Twain
  • silvermousesilvermouse Posts: 20,850 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @Amos_Umwhat said:
    Would the term "Radical conservative" be an oxymoron? Or, a contradiction in terms?

    No wonder I can't sleep at night.

    No, just 'moron'.

  • YaksterYakster Posts: 27,598 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Why do they put foot bands on cigars instead of head bands?

    Join us on Zoom vHerf (Meeting # 2619860114 Password vHerf2020 )
  • 0patience0patience Posts: 10,665 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @Amos_Umwhat said:
    What if George Santos and A.O.C. had a baby?

    Of course, how would she impregnate him?

    I am so stealing that. 🤣🤣

    In Fumo Pax
    Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy cigars and that's close enough.

    Wylaff said:
    Atmospheric pressure and crap.
  • Amos_UmwhatAmos_Umwhat Posts: 8,836 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Given the current state of affairs in our country, culture wars etc., should we change the name of the country to The Divided States of America? Instead of E Pluribus Unum we could start putting No Common Ground on the money.

    WARNING:  The above post may contain thoughts or ideas known to the State of Caliphornia to cause seething rage, confusion, distemper, nausea, perspiration, sphincter release, or cranial implosion to persons who implicitly trust only one news source, or find themselves at either the left or right political extreme.  Proceed at your own risk.  

    "If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed.  If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." --  Mark Twain
  • Amos_UmwhatAmos_Umwhat Posts: 8,836 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited February 2023

    I think WWIII has already started. China attacked us with bio-weaponry and we're to stupid to recognize it. Gosh, spreading contagion via balloon might be a possibility, if only they'd done the research to know when and where to launch the balloons from.

    Oh, wait, research underway.

    Meanwhile, Russia's demonstrated a willingness to kill for an open port other than Vladivostok, and everyone's getting on board, one way or the other. And, of course, the Islamic world is in shambles and perpetual chaotic confusion. Earthquakes, volcanoes, floods.

    Well, enough paranoid delusion for the moment,

    Have a nice day.

    WARNING:  The above post may contain thoughts or ideas known to the State of Caliphornia to cause seething rage, confusion, distemper, nausea, perspiration, sphincter release, or cranial implosion to persons who implicitly trust only one news source, or find themselves at either the left or right political extreme.  Proceed at your own risk.  

    "If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed.  If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." --  Mark Twain
  • StubbleStubble Posts: 9,010 ✭✭✭✭✭

    *too

    Hey, you gonna eat the rest of that corndog?
  • Amos_UmwhatAmos_Umwhat Posts: 8,836 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @Stubble said:
    *too

    I'm blaming the damn autocorrect. Two late too due anything.

    WARNING:  The above post may contain thoughts or ideas known to the State of Caliphornia to cause seething rage, confusion, distemper, nausea, perspiration, sphincter release, or cranial implosion to persons who implicitly trust only one news source, or find themselves at either the left or right political extreme.  Proceed at your own risk.  

    "If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed.  If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." --  Mark Twain
  • VegasFrankVegasFrank Posts: 18,158 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @Amos_Umwhat said:

    @Stubble said:
    *too

    I'm blaming the damn autocorrect. Two late too due anything.

    That would have been next level had you said any thing.

    Disclaimer:  All trolling is provided for the sole entertainment purposes of the author only. Readers may find entertainment and hard core truths, but none are intended. Any resulting damaged feelings or arse chapping of the reader are the sole responsibility of the reader, to include, but not limited to: crying, anger, revenge pørn, and abandonment or deletion of ccom accounts. Offer void in Utah because Utah is terrible.
  • TRayBTRayB Posts: 2,179 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @peter4jc said:
    @TRayB

    If you haven't received the Ccom Forum newsletter yet, PM me your address and I'll be sure to get your name on the mailing list so you get the next issue.

    PM sent. I am a bit concerned this is in the "Stupid ****..." thread though. :o

  • peter4jcpeter4jc Posts: 16,506 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @TRayB said:

    @peter4jc said:
    @TRayB

    If you haven't received the Ccom Forum newsletter yet, PM me your address and I'll be sure to get your name on the mailing list so you get the next issue.

    PM sent. I am a bit concerned this is in the "Stupid ****..." thread though. :o

    Not to worry, ol' buddy. This just happened to be a handy place to post.

    "I could've had a Mi Querida!"   Nick Bardis
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