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The Official Tim Blythe's Beard Appreciation Thread

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  • These Filthy HandsThese Filthy Hands Posts: 455
    Lasabar:
    These Filthy Hands:
    Tim's beard hit .375 in the minors before hurting it's knee.
    Tims beard won't return Spielberg's calls
    Tim's beard can blow bubbles, with beef jerky.
  • LasabarLasabar Posts: 4,472 ✭✭✭
    These Filthy Hands:
    Lasabar:
    These Filthy Hands:
    Tim's beard hit .375 in the minors before hurting it's knee.
    Tims beard won't return Spielberg's calls
    Tim's beard can blow bubbles, with beef jerky.
    Tim's beard only plays Arenas
  • DiamondogDiamondog Posts: 4,171 ✭✭
    I have one day left to hit target in Q3 and it's going to be oh so close, bearded one I ask that you align the stars so I may be showered in cigar goodness...
  • PsychoSJGPsychoSJG Posts: 766 ✭✭✭
    Since "Nuclear Mans" failure in Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, Lex Luthor has been trying to attain a strand from The Beard to make an Ultra Superman. Unfortunately, Krypton scissors won't work.
  • KriegKrieg Posts: 5,188 ✭✭✭
    just saw this one.... "When at sea, no matter what table The Beard is at, it's always referred to as the Captain's table"

    "Long ashes my friends."

  • DiamondogDiamondog Posts: 4,171 ✭✭
    Diamondog:
    I have one day left to hit target in Q3 and it's going to be oh so close, bearded one I ask that you align the stars so I may be showered in cigar goodness...
    The bearded one has seen fit to align the stars perfectly for me today, all hail the beard and its magical powers, target adchieved, cigar goodness will flow...
  • Jetmech_63Jetmech_63 Posts: 3,451 ✭✭✭
    Diamondog:
    Came across this gem in my Googles



    image

    That's one Beer'd Beard :)
  • These Filthy HandsThese Filthy Hands Posts: 455
    Lasabar:
    These Filthy Hands:
    Lasabar:
    These Filthy Hands:
    Tim's beard hit .375 in the minors before hurting it's knee.
    Tims beard won't return Spielberg's calls
    Tim's beard can blow bubbles, with beef jerky.
    Tim's beard only plays Arenas
    Tim's beard once at three 72oz. steaks in under an hour. It spent the first 45 min. railing it's waitress!
  • Nick2021Nick2021 Posts: 938 ✭✭
    Tim's beard once squeezed an M&M so hard that it turned into a skittle!
  • DiamondogDiamondog Posts: 4,171 ✭✭
    I hear there is a leaked picture floating around out there of the night Tims beard used a crimper and straightened itself, anyone seen?
  • jship079jship079 Posts: 621 ✭
    Jetmech_63:
    Diamondog:
    Came across this gem in my Googles



    image

    That's one Beer'd Beard :)
    Looks like Tim may have been smokeing more than cigars on this occasion
  • Nick2021Nick2021 Posts: 938 ✭✭
    The Greek pronounciation of Tim the Beard is Zeus
  • PsychoSJGPsychoSJG Posts: 766 ✭✭✭
    On the first day, Tim's Beard created God to take care of the dirty work.
  • PsychoSJGPsychoSJG Posts: 766 ✭✭✭
    Tim's Beard blocked out the sun, killing all the dinosaurs. Since then, it has been trimmed hourly to prevent further devastation.
  • PsychoSJGPsychoSJG Posts: 766 ✭✭✭
    Tim's Beard and Chuck Norris' beard got into a bar fight. Atlantis hasn't been seen since.
  • lilwing88lilwing88 Posts: 2,812 ✭✭✭
    Tim's beard could easily provide enough energy to power the entire continent of N. America...... the government is keeping it a secret.
    Guns don't kill people, Daddies with pretty daughters do…..
  • Nick2021Nick2021 Posts: 938 ✭✭
    Tim can charge a cell phone by rubbing it against his beard!
  • fla-gypsyfla-gypsy Posts: 3,023 ✭✭
    This thread has heated up again, I am so pleased it has.
  • Nick2021Nick2021 Posts: 938 ✭✭
    The one-dollar bill originally had Tim the Beard on it...but the beard kept getting caught in vending machines
  • DiamondogDiamondog Posts: 4,171 ✭✭
    Strange....I'm surprised the Chilean gov't didn't try and aquire some of the beards beard strands to lift those miners to safety...this could have been sorted out a long time ago...
  • cabinetmakercabinetmaker Posts: 2,560 ✭✭
    Diamondog:
    Strange....I'm surprised the Chilean gov't didn't try and aquire some of the beards beard strands to lift those miners to safety...this could have been sorted out a long time ago...
    How did you think they dug the hole?
  • Garen BGaren B Posts: 977
    cabinetmaker:
    Diamondog:
    Strange....I'm surprised the Chilean gov't didn't try and aquire some of the beards beard strands to lift those miners to safety...this could have been sorted out a long time ago...
    How did you think they dug the hole?
    If they used Strands of The Beard, the miners would have been up the next day and the drill would have struck a pocket of oil and a lost cache of cigars rolled by the Beard itself.
  • Nick2021Nick2021 Posts: 938 ✭✭
    Tim the Beard never loses a game of clue, despite the fact everyone knows he's the murderer and used his beard to do it.
  • PsychoSJGPsychoSJG Posts: 766 ✭✭✭
    If you floss your teeth with Tim's Beard once, you'll never get cavities.
  • Nick2021Nick2021 Posts: 938 ✭✭
    A handicap parking sign does not signify that the spot is for handicapped people. It is actually a warning that the spot belongs to Tim the "Beard," and you will be handicapped if you park there
  • DiamondogDiamondog Posts: 4,171 ✭✭
    Nick2021:
    A handicap parking sign does not signify that the spot is for handicapped people. It is actually a warning that the spot belongs to Tim the "Beard," and you will be handicapped if you park there
    lol
  • Nick2021Nick2021 Posts: 938 ✭✭
    Tim the Beard's calender goes straight from March 31st to April 2d...nobody fools the Beard...NOBODY!
  • PsychoSJGPsychoSJG Posts: 766 ✭✭✭
    Nick2021:
    Tim the Beard's calender goes straight from March 31st to April 2d...nobody fools the Beard...NOBODY!
    HAHAHA, love it
  • Nick2021Nick2021 Posts: 938 ✭✭
    PsychoSJG:
    Nick2021:
    Tim the Beard's calender goes straight from March 31st to April 2d...nobody fools the Beard...NOBODY!
    HAHAHA, love it
    Cabinetmaker once defeated Tim the Beard in a game of tic-tac-toe. In retaliation, Tim the Beard created the Sol Cubano Artisan cigar!
  • DiamondogDiamondog Posts: 4,171 ✭✭
    Look for it in 2011, the worlds most expensive watch, comprised simply of 2 of the beards beard strands minute hand/hour hand, eclipsing Louis Moinet' Meteoris, coming in at a whopping $10,000,000. Unlike a coventional watch used for telling time, this watch creates time...
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