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The Official Tim Blythe's Beard Appreciation Thread

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  • Sol1821Sol1821 Posts: 707 ✭✭
    the beard discovered anti-hydrogen without the use of a LHC.
  • kuzi16kuzi16 Posts: 14,633 ✭✭✭✭
    cabinetmaker:
    One day, the Beard said "Hey, it's too dark here"

    And God said "Let there be light...."

    The rest is history...
    i thought it went like this:
    in the beginning, there was nothing. then God said "let there be light" and there was light and it was good.
    then God said: "HOLY ***!! IS THAT THE BEARD?!?!?"


    Kuzi's Forum Links Page
  • denniskingdennisking Posts: 3,703 ✭✭✭
    this thread has almost been active a year.

    Tim's Beard fixed the economy
  • PsychoSJGPsychoSJG Posts: 766 ✭✭✭
    kuzi16:
    cabinetmaker:
    One day, the Beard said "Hey, it's too dark here"

    And God said "Let there be light...."

    The rest is history...
    i thought it went like this:
    in the beginning, there was nothing. then God said "let there be light" and there was light and it was good.
    then God said: "HOLY ***!! IS THAT THE BEARD?!?!?"


    God created man in his own image. But God molded his beard after Tim's
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 3,917 ✭
    Hope this is new - my first shot at this... Ask not what the Beard can do for you, but what you can do for the Beard!!
  • fla-gypsyfla-gypsy Posts: 3,023 ✭✭
    james40:
    Hope this is new - my first shot at this... Ask not what the Beard can do for you, but what you can do for the Beard!!
    Not bad, now ramp it up!
  • Sol1821Sol1821 Posts: 707 ✭✭
    It was the beard who convinced the first blind man he needed sunglasses.
  • Sol1821Sol1821 Posts: 707 ✭✭
    The beard has released a new fragrance in time for Christmas for illigal immigrants and asylum seekers.
    It's a bit like Joop Jump or Armani Code.
    It's called "Go Homme."
  • sirfoster83sirfoster83 Posts: 783 ✭
    When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Tim's Beard
  • sirfoster83sirfoster83 Posts: 783 ✭
    Oswald shot, Tim Blythe met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
  • cabinetmakercabinetmaker Posts: 2,560 ✭✭
    Tim's beard makes minute rice in less than a second, without ever boiling water.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 3,917 ✭
    It's a little known fact that from Space, the Great Wall of China is in the shape of the Beard. Chinese officials have no comment.

    Genies get 3 wishes when they rub the Beard. Their only wish is to have their own Beard, which is of course laughed at. Once thoroughly humiliated, the Beard kicks them in the nads and they are then cast into a bottle where they remain forever.

  • Nick2021Nick2021 Posts: 938 ✭✭
    sirfoster83:
    When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Tim's Beard
    lol
  • DiamondogDiamondog Posts: 4,171 ✭✭
    Mr. Snuffleupagus thought he was hairy until he met The Beard...
  • These Filthy HandsThese Filthy Hands Posts: 455
    Tim Blythe built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, he met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
  • These Filthy HandsThese Filthy Hands Posts: 455
    The Beard once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 3,917 ✭
    There's actually 13 months in the Calendar Year - Beardvember. Everyday in Beardvember is a holiday so that's why it's omitted from calendars. The Earth's axis is one strand of hair from the Beard. It will never need to be replaced.
  • sirfoster83sirfoster83 Posts: 783 ✭
    These Filthy Hands:
    Tim Blythe built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, he met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
    Tim needs no time machine....the fountain of youth is actually the Beard.
  • roland_7707roland_7707 Posts: 2,833 ✭✭✭
    Anytime The Beard walks by anyone the song "There goes my hero" plays mysteriously in his wake
    One God, One Truth
  • surfingzeekosurfingzeeko Posts: 628
    The beard CAN eat only one Lay's potato chip.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 3,917 ✭
    The Wonder twins tried to transform into the Beard. They died as a result.
    The Beard is the 8th Wonder of the world
  • DiamondogDiamondog Posts: 4,171 ✭✭
    lol, good ****...
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 3,917 ✭
    Zombies have a Beard plan
  • wwhwangwwhwang Posts: 2,878 ✭✭✭
    The razor can't shave The Beard, but The Beard can shave the razor.
  • wwhwangwwhwang Posts: 2,878 ✭✭✭
    The Beard is not a part of Tim's body. Tim is The Beard's car.
  • DiamondogDiamondog Posts: 4,171 ✭✭
    Surfers and swimmers around the world fear shark attacks, sharks around the world fear Beard attacks...
  • DiamondogDiamondog Posts: 4,171 ✭✭
    The Beard has only ever played 1 game of scrabble, he used the entire bag of letters in 1 turn, a new dictionary entry has been created and he is still waiting to hear back from Hasbro on how many points thats worth...
  • Sol1821Sol1821 Posts: 707 ✭✭
    a beard is for life, not just for christmas.
  • DiamondogDiamondog Posts: 4,171 ✭✭
    Santa Clause calls The Beard for growing tips...
  • undulacundulac Posts: 1,129 ✭
    100% of women and 5% of men love the Beard.
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