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The Official Tim Blythe's Beard Appreciation Thread

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  • Nick2021Nick2021 Posts: 938 ✭✭
    Originally, before getting into cigars, Tim Blythe was going to be hired to play the role of Jack Bauer on the show "24." The producers changed their minds when they realized the show would only last 17 minutes.
  • Sol1821Sol1821 Posts: 707 ✭✭
    a strand of the beard purposefully dislodged itself from its host many years ago and fell into a cup, the host new the score and didn’t remove it, he simply named the cup the holy grail.
  • DiamondogDiamondog Posts: 4,171 ✭✭
    The Beard walked in to a restaurant with a mechanical bull once and the bull ran for it's life...
  • Nick2021Nick2021 Posts: 938 ✭✭
    Sega once made an arcade game where you fought Tim Blythe. Everytime you put a quarter in, the screen immediately displayed "You lose." It was Sega's most popular machine ever!
  • Tim's beard can squeeze apple juice out of a banana.
  • Tim's beard can gargle with peanut butter

    Tim's beard can see with it's eyes closed.
  • Garen BGaren B Posts: 977
    Tim's Beard does not have an anti matter counterpart. No matter exists that can destroy The Beard.
  • DiamondogDiamondog Posts: 4,171 ✭✭
    Steven Spielberg paid The Beard an undisclosed amount of money to film 24 straight HD hours of The Beards beard, this will be replacing the Yule Log broadcasted on TV on Christmas Day...
  • Nick2021Nick2021 Posts: 938 ✭✭
    Diamondog:
    Steven Spielberg paid The Beard an undisclosed amount of money to film 24 straight HD hours of The Beards beard, this will be replacing the Yule Log broadcasted on TV on Christmas Day...
    Somebody once bet Tim the "Beard" that he couldn't sh*t on the ceiling. Michelangelo still owes him ten bucks!
  • PsychoSJGPsychoSJG Posts: 766 ✭✭✭
    Tim's Beard is the life of parties he dosen't attend
  • PsychoSJGPsychoSJG Posts: 766 ✭✭✭
    Klondike Bars will do anything for a Tim's Beard
  • PsychoSJGPsychoSJG Posts: 766 ✭✭✭
    Tim brushes his Beard with a chainsaw
  • PsychoSJGPsychoSJG Posts: 766 ✭✭✭
    Any cigar that The Beard smokes is called an El Presidente
  • DiamondogDiamondog Posts: 4,171 ✭✭
    Tims beard caught on fire once and the flames said ouch...
  • Nick2021Nick2021 Posts: 938 ✭✭
    Tim's Beard keeps a horde of trained bees under his beard to let loose at a moments notice!
  • DiamondogDiamondog Posts: 4,171 ✭✭
    The beards morning stick



    image
  • Diamondog:
    The beards morning stick



    image
    This is very true, I would like to add I need no assistance to light or hold this while smoking too.
  • DiamondogDiamondog Posts: 4,171 ✭✭
    The Beard:
    Diamondog:
    The beards morning stick



    image
    This is very true, I would like to add I need no assistance to light or hold this while smoking too.
    Beard...no one ever had a thought you did...
  • Nick2021Nick2021 Posts: 938 ✭✭
    LOL
  • fla-gypsyfla-gypsy Posts: 3,023 ✭✭
    Diamondog is on a roll!
  • Garen BGaren B Posts: 977
    The Beard is banned from graveyards because dead people come back to life at the very mention of The Beard's name.

    The Beard once sneezed on a trip to Japan, we know this occurrence as Hiroshima.

    The Beard's beer stein is known as The Holy Grail.

  • DiamondogDiamondog Posts: 4,171 ✭✭
    I'm going to a halloween party Saturday night dressed as the beard...I am guessing it'll be a matter of seconds before some maiden will bed me, The Beard, the ultimate aphrodisiac, OOOH YAAAA
  • Nick2021Nick2021 Posts: 938 ✭✭
    A kid once stole the Tim the Beard's hat and ran into an apple orchard. Tim the "Beard" flew into such a rage that he accidentally invented applesauce!
  • DiamondogDiamondog Posts: 4,171 ✭✭
    Nick2021:
    A kid once stole the Tim the Beard's hat and ran into an apple orchard. Tim the "Beard" flew into such a rage that he accidentally invented applesauce!
    lol
  • Nick2021Nick2021 Posts: 938 ✭✭
    As a Child, Tim the Beard played hungry hungry Hippos with real hippos!!!
  • RedtailhawkozRedtailhawkoz Posts: 2,915
    Diamondog:
    The beards morning stick



    image

    Nice to see this Picture has been used for more good uses!
  • Nick2021Nick2021 Posts: 938 ✭✭
    It's no coincidence that the tattoo on Mike Tyson's face and the sole of Tim "the Beard" share the same pattern!!!
  • HaysHays Posts: 2,337 ✭✭✭
    Nick2021:
    It's no coincidence that the tattoo on Mike Tyson's face and the sole of Tim "the Beard" share the same pattern!!!
    LMAO! Win!
    ¨The cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears, or the sea¨ - Isak Dinesen

    ¨Only two people walk around in this world beardless - boys and women - and I am neither one.¨
  • Nick2021Nick2021 Posts: 938 ✭✭
    Tim "the Beard" once put on a pair of roller skaes and showed up at a quarry looking for a job. He is now the most powerful dump truck known to man!
  • PsychoSJGPsychoSJG Posts: 766 ✭✭✭
    A long time ago, Tim and his beard were on a journey to find the worlds best cigar tobacco. While swimming from Ecuador to Cuba, he decided to make a short cut. It is now known as the Panama Canal
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