My g/f bought me Davidoffs for my birthday when we first started dating and then she got me a box each of the new GoF Serie B earlier this year. I would say that she is supportive.
i envy those of you with supportive others.... i have yet to find someone in my family who is supportive of my hobby.
Sorry to hear that bro - but you know that we all got your back. My family (mainly mom, dad, grandma) weren't too big on it when I first started and gave me a lot of flack for it...but they've come around over the past few years. I think it's one of those things where they finally realized they're not going to change what I do so it's better to leave it alone.
And if they finally came around, there's hope for you too dude ---- my mom even got me a CCOM gift card for my last bday and my dad got me a kicka$$ selection of cigars from the B&M for my bday too. I never in a million years would have imagined that happening. So yeah, keep up the hope.
And my grandma still scorns me from time to time though saying "those things are bad for you" but I always tell her there's lots of other things worse for me.....
Just keep your head up and keep on keepin' on.
taythegibs:
My girlfriend hates the hobby.....
As far as this one though, hopefully she comes around. Maybe get her to try some infused sticks or smoke them when she's around so it's a "nicer" smell for her to get used to.
If not, Zino Davidoff had a quote about this:
""If your wife doesn't like the aroma of your cigar, change your wife."
LOL. Seriously best of luck with converting her though
lol, thanks for the support. I guess her point is understandable since she is asthmatic, but i never smoke around her, and make sire to be cleaned up before i see her, she just really hates it, which i dont understand, she knew from the beginning that i did, but didnt get to lecturing me until about 8 months into our relationship.
Actually wife tolerates it,doesn't like it, nothing in the house or cars or truck! I do manage to have enough time between being outta town teaching, or at the club golfing, or at the boat club, and sometimes after work outside! So it works for me!!!
Wife is tolerant. She doesn't really care as long as she isn't around and since I work days and she works nights, no problems! She's. It really a fan of the odor. It I can have a 5 man herf in the garage, air it out and light a candle and 2 hours later it's fine. She does like it when I smoke a pipe though...
lol, thanks for the support. I guess her point is understandable since she is asthmatic, but i never smoke around her, and make sire to be cleaned up before i see her, she just really hates it, which i dont understand, she knew from the beginning that i did, but didnt get to lecturing me until about 8 months into our relationship.
Aaah, this makes sense now, brother. She probably resents you for purposely doing something harmful to your healthy lungs (yes I know we don't inhale the smoke but I think we can all agree its not healthy), while she does nothing of the sort and has breathing problems. That makes alot of sense, even though its not entirely fair for you.
Just have a sit down with her, and tell her that its important to you and you understand her point of view as well, and then come to a compromise. Being with someone is about the give and take. You should never change who you are but you don't always get to have it your way. Its all in the middle ground and you find that by communicating.
So my wife doesn't love the hobby and she'll be the first to admit that, but she's also has no desire to change me or do things to prevent me from being me. So she told me she'll never buy cigars, ever, BUT she has no issues with me buying myself stuff as long as its in the budget, and she doesn't mind me smoking once or twice a week (our magic number that works for both of us) becuase its my "reset button." I think she's also grown to enjoy hanging out with me when I smoke sometimes.
So she supports me in her way, and I thought that was it. But get this. . . .
So last night her dad came over and we we're planning on having a pair if Diesel Unlimiteds together after dinner, and she actually suprised me by buying me an outdoor love seat for our patio, a grill stand for my grill, she cleaned up the glass table that we had (dogs ate the chairs to that set), and strung lights in the tree above the love seat to create me a cozy little smoking area becuase I didn't have one.
I was totally caught off guard and blown away at the gesture towards a hobby that she doesn't love. Thats my definition of a supportive spouse. We don't have to be clones of each other and love the same stuff, but life is about supporting the other one in what they love. And she does that perfectly . . .
So in our way my wife is totally supportive of the hobby and I'm a blessed man.
lol, thanks for the support. I guess her point is understandable since she is asthmatic, but i never smoke around her, and make sire to be cleaned up before i see her, she just really hates it, which i dont understand, she knew from the beginning that i did, but didnt get to lecturing me until about 8 months into our relationship.
Aaah, this makes sense now, brother. She probably resents you for purposely doing something harmful to your healthy lungs (yes I know we don't inhale the smoke but I think we can all agree its not healthy), while she does nothing of the sort and has breathing problems. That makes alot of sense, even though its not entirely fair for you.
Just have a sit down with her, and tell her that its important to you and you understand her point of view as well, and then come to a compromise. Being with someone is about the give and take. You should never change who you are but you don't always get to have it your way. Its all in the middle ground and you find that by communicating.
Good luck man
not to throw relationship problems out onto the board, but that communication thing seems to be only working one way for me here recently... I guess ill try to keep it up for a few more months but meh, maybe its not meant to be. Thanks guys for discussing this with me, its helped me see some other stuff that seems to be going on with the two of us.
not to throw relationship problems out onto the board, but that communication thing seems to be only working one way for me here recently... I guess ill try to keep it up for a few more months but meh, maybe its not meant to be. Thanks guys for discussing this with me, its helped me see some other stuff that seems to be going on with the two of us.
I don't want this to come out wrong, cause I don't even come close to having figured out. But as was stated before, there is a person for everyone and you would be surprised at how easily you will know when that person comes along.
The first time I ever saw my wife, I didn't even talk to her. But I remembered her from that single appearance. 6 months later, a buddy introduced us. We started going out that night. Not to say it didn't have some rocky moments, but that was 30 years ago. She later admitted to having set her sights on me that first time I saw her.
I guess I was doomed from the start, but I have no complaints. I can tell you this, if you are both not making each other happy, then the problems will escalate. Any time a relationship is one sided, it is a high probability that it will fail. You both have to be willing to compromise on a lot of things. And there is no question that any relationship requires work on both parts. If one isn't willing to do the work, then failure is imminent.
I wish the best for you, which ever direction you go. Don't lose hope.
In Fumo Pax Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy cigars and that's close enough.
My girlfriend does not care that i smoke i fact she will take a few puffs on nearly any thing that i smoke. Some time she will enjoy certain ones more than me. However she hates when I buy them!( For those of you wondering why does she care how i spend my money. it probably has to do with us being together for 6 years and we share our money. aslo im assuming she wants a ring on that finger. She would have got one last year if we did not both decide to move away and get our masters. I think i may bite the bullet this summer and buy her one when she is in the Philippians. probably going to have to quite buying cigars though to make that investment. Totally worth it though. ).
My wife rarely take one or two puffs but she sits next to me and enjoy looking at me smoking.When I ask her, what are you looking at? She smiles and say- "I enjoy your happiness and the way you worship cigars, you look very happy" and smile again. I don't know what to say. Sometime woman are really weird.
My wife rarely take one or two puffs but she sits next to me and enjoy looking at me smoking.When I ask her, what are you looking at? She smiles and say- "I enjoy your happiness and the way you worship cigars, you look very happy" and smile again. I don't know what to say. Sometime woman are really weird.
Do what I do, tell her that no matter how good that cigar is, it pales in comparison to how much you worship her. PS, my wife doesnt care how much I spend on cigars!!!!!!!!! LOL
Agree with you. I do feel that way. Thanks for the classic answer.
mmccartneydc:
rzaman:
My wife rarely take one or two puffs but she sits next to me and enjoy looking at me smoking.When I ask her, what are you looking at? She smiles and say- "I enjoy your happiness and the way you worship cigars, you look very happy" and smile again. I don't know what to say. Sometime woman are really weird.
Do what I do, tell her that no matter how good that cigar is, it pales in comparison to how much you worship her. PS, my wife doesnt care how much I spend on cigars!!!!!!!!! LOL
Makes sense now. I can understand her not wanting to be around the smoke - but I do hope that a compromise can be made. Just as she has her own interests that you probably don't care for - you should be able to do the same.
IMHO it's great to share similar interests/activities but I think you each also need to have time for your own things.
Either way, hope everything works out for you - and I think there's some very good advice from some of the other BOTLs.
Absolutely. When I'm home, she'll join me for a smoke once a week or so. She prefers Perdomo Champagnes and EPC New Waves.
She also checks the 500ct Indulgence once a week while I'm gone to make sure "the blue electronic thingy" (HumiCare EH) is between 68-70% and refills the cartridge when its running low.
For my birthday this year she went to Casa Fuente and pick up these (in case you miss them on the "What did you get today" thread:
Congrats Steve, that is BAD-AZZ bro! Come back safe and come back soon so I can finally bomb your azz!!! Amanda's and mine 1 year anniversary is coming up and she told me last night that she wanted to know where to buy CC's from because she wants to buy me a special box for our anny for me to lay down and age.... God I love this woman.
Brett, PM.
Hey Steve, never got that PM so I sent you one back.
"When walking in open territory bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask them to stop. If they do not stop, destroy them."
My wife is some what supportive of my hobby and if there were no associated health risk in smoking she would be all for it. When we fisrt got together I was a cig smoker and she would bring me home cigars for where she work like all the time. At time RP 1990 were just coming out and I smoked in my living room. Since then I quit smoking and we have since repainted our appartment and no cigar smoke in the house. I don't mind I will go out on my ouside porch and smoke a cigar and watch a movie 12 months out of the year. I usually went out only 2 times a week until I explained to my wife I don't go to bars or with the boys besides poker once a month and she never hast worry about me going any were I just liked to smoke cigars. Since then I have been enjoying cigars at least 5 days a week and she hasn't said anything. She was very supportive of cigarfest. Our relationship has always been good but cigars can help anything get better. LOL
Thought I would revisit this thread.
A bit ago, I was mulling over a couple purchases. I kept going back and forth on which ones I wanted to buy. I had it figured out between 2 things I wanted. Just had to chose one.
I showed the wife and she says, "Well, they're both great deals. Why not get them both?"
And I fell in love all over again. LOL!
In Fumo Pax Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy cigars and that's close enough.
My girlfriend hates it but i told her i can spend my money on cigars or lap dances, so she lets me do it with a little complaining here and there. If I have to watch chick flicks to make her happy she can deal with me smoking a good cigar once a day..
My girlfriend actually loves that I smoke cigars. Her farther got me into it not too long ago in hopes to get me off of cigarettes (3 months and 2 weeks since my last cigarette) and it's bonding time with her dad so it's a win win. And she likes the smell of cigars! Found me a winner hah
my wife supports me but thinks they stink to high hell and can't stand them. but she knows i enjoy them and therefore allows me. yes i said allow like she is in charge. cause she got my balls in the wedding. i got a wife who is so out of my league it is laughable. but hey. love is blind right.
A smart man knows that no matter what he thinks, she is in charge.
She may let him think he is in charge every once in a while, but a fool actually has delusions that he is in charge.
The difference is, having one that sees that you enjoy these things and takes pleasure in seeing you enjoy something.
I tell my boys that having a girlfriend or wife that takes care of you, knows what you like, lets you think you're getting away with something and still loves you for it, is a great thing.
25 years married to this woman, she still continues to amaze me.
When I got my tower humidor, I think she convinced the B&M shop owner that he should sell it to me for dirt cheap. How do you not love that?
In Fumo Pax Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy cigars and that's close enough.
Yeah and no! My girl brings me back some cc's when she travels out of the country but Hayes the fact I blow a lot of money on fishing stuff and cigars and wants me to choose one! I told her its impossible lol
Wife doesn't mind, cause it gives me something to do when i'm not at work. Keeps me out of her hair. She thinks smoke stinks and doesn't rush to kiss me afterward, but she is cool and sees how the hobby relaxes me. I got a good one.
Cool topic. My wife fully supports me in my hobby. She calls me when shes sees a good deal on websites. She orders me samplers if she thinks I will like them (2 Graycliff, 1 Alec Bradley, and my Room101 Xikar set). She goes to the PO when I am unable and she waits for me when I go into B&Ms. She is a great wife and I couldnt have asked for better. As for the smell...... not the biggest fan!
My wife is back and forth, almost passive aggressive. She makes fun of it by saying they are big phallic symbols. But, she enjoyed helping me in participating in a bombing mission. I generally smoke when she isn't here or after she goes to bed. Then it's a bee line to the shower, brushing teeth etc. I think eventually she'll accept it begrudgingly. I guess I'm in the minority but I wouldn't trade everything else we have together.
My wife is back and forth, almost passive aggressive. She makes fun of it by saying they are big phallic symbols. But, she enjoyed helping me in participating in a bombing mission. I generally smoke when she isn't here or after she goes to bed. Then it's a bee line to the shower, brushing teeth etc. I think eventually she'll accept it begrudgingly. I guess I'm in the minority but I wouldn't trade everything else we have together.
It's funny. I have a friend who's wife gives him hell for his cigars, yet she will stop at a cigar store to see if there is something he likes or she thinks he might be interested in. He tells me she confuses him.
I tell him, yep and on purpose. LOL!
In Fumo Pax Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy cigars and that's close enough.
My wife is back and forth, almost passive aggressive. She makes fun of it by saying they are big phallic symbols. But, she enjoyed helping me in participating in a bombing mission. I generally smoke when she isn't here or after she goes to bed. Then it's a bee line to the shower, brushing teeth etc. I think eventually she'll accept it begrudgingly. I guess I'm in the minority but I wouldn't trade everything else we have together.
It's funny. I have a friend who's wife gives him hell for his cigars, yet she will stop at a cigar store to see if there is something he likes or she thinks he might be interested in. He tells me she confuses him.
I tell him, yep and on purpose. LOL!
Then she'll say...I was just kidding.... Damn I just cant figure them out..Lol
I'll bring each new premium cigar into the house and ask "Smell this one. You have a better nose than I do. What do you think?" Sometimes I drop by the cigar store on our way back from xyz, and say: "Glad you're here. I need your nose. Smell this one. You're better at it than I am." Of course it helps that, being a girl, she does smell better.
This seems to defang the instinctive resentment for a while.
“It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
My girlfriend would support me in just about anything if I was passionate about it including cigars. She does enjoy it when I smoke my pipe, but would never try a cigar and hates the smell. SO I can enjoy one whenever I want so long as I take a shower haha
my has been very supportive of my hobby,when we go together to the b&m shes alway showing me sticks and asking if i want to try this one.im usually the one saying thats enough for today.she even smokes with me occasionaly.she likes the small cigarelos .she bought this humidor for me for fathers day..
Comments
Just have a sit down with her, and tell her that its important to you and you understand her point of view as well, and then come to a compromise. Being with someone is about the give and take. You should never change who you are but you don't always get to have it your way. Its all in the middle ground and you find that by communicating.
Good luck man
So she supports me in her way, and I thought that was it. But get this. . . .
So last night her dad came over and we we're planning on having a pair if Diesel Unlimiteds together after dinner, and she actually suprised me by buying me an outdoor love seat for our patio, a grill stand for my grill, she cleaned up the glass table that we had (dogs ate the chairs to that set), and strung lights in the tree above the love seat to create me a cozy little smoking area becuase I didn't have one.
I was totally caught off guard and blown away at the gesture towards a hobby that she doesn't love. Thats my definition of a supportive spouse. We don't have to be clones of each other and love the same stuff, but life is about supporting the other one in what they love. And she does that perfectly . . .
So in our way my wife is totally supportive of the hobby and I'm a blessed man.
The first time I ever saw my wife, I didn't even talk to her. But I remembered her from that single appearance. 6 months later, a buddy introduced us. We started going out that night. Not to say it didn't have some rocky moments, but that was 30 years ago. She later admitted to having set her sights on me that first time I saw her.
I guess I was doomed from the start, but I have no complaints. I can tell you this, if you are both not making each other happy, then the problems will escalate. Any time a relationship is one sided, it is a high probability that it will fail. You both have to be willing to compromise on a lot of things. And there is no question that any relationship requires work on both parts. If one isn't willing to do the work, then failure is imminent.
I wish the best for you, which ever direction you go. Don't lose hope.
Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy cigars and that's close enough.
Makes sense now. I can understand her not wanting to be around the smoke - but I do hope that a compromise can be made. Just as she has her own interests that you probably don't care for - you should be able to do the same.
IMHO it's great to share similar interests/activities but I think you each also need to have time for your own things.
Either way, hope everything works out for you - and I think there's some very good advice from some of the other BOTLs.
* I have a new address as of 3/24/18 *
A bit ago, I was mulling over a couple purchases. I kept going back and forth on which ones I wanted to buy. I had it figured out between 2 things I wanted. Just had to chose one.
I showed the wife and she says, "Well, they're both great deals. Why not get them both?"
And I fell in love all over again. LOL!
Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy cigars and that's close enough.
She may let him think he is in charge every once in a while, but a fool actually has delusions that he is in charge.
The difference is, having one that sees that you enjoy these things and takes pleasure in seeing you enjoy something.
I tell my boys that having a girlfriend or wife that takes care of you, knows what you like, lets you think you're getting away with something and still loves you for it, is a great thing.
25 years married to this woman, she still continues to amaze me.
When I got my tower humidor, I think she convinced the B&M shop owner that he should sell it to me for dirt cheap. How do you not love that?
Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy cigars and that's close enough.
If she's bringing cc's back with her, tell her you choose HER!!!
And then hide the fishing stuff. LOL!
Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy cigars and that's close enough.
I tell him, yep and on purpose. LOL!
Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy cigars and that's close enough.
This seems to defang the instinctive resentment for a while.