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Resurrecting the Joke Thread

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  • jd50aejd50ae Posts: 7,900 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited July 2017
    another double post

  • jd50aejd50ae Posts: 7,900 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited July 2017
    oops.......double post
  • 0patience0patience Posts: 10,665 ✭✭✭✭✭
    jd50ae said:
    OMG 

    1 cigar left
    1 bottle of bourbon left
    1cup of coffee left
    Last piece of beef in the frying pan
    My wife is away visiting family
    No kids in the house
    Really big mushroom clouds on the horizon

    Perfect Timing.
    Young guys don't realize the heaven that is created when you have an entirely empty house to yourself. 
    No kids running in and out, asking for this or that. Turning on the TV on one channel and it doesn't get changed to some stupid show.
    Or not turning it on and having absolute silence. 
    You can light a cigar and get lost in the smoke.
    Sigh...........it's such a rare occurrence. 
    In Fumo Pax
    Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy cigars and that's close enough.

    Wylaff said:
    Atmospheric pressure and crap.
  • jd50aejd50ae Posts: 7,900 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited July 2017
    0patience said:

    Young guys don't realize the heaven that is created when you have an entirely empty house to yourself. 
    No kids running in and out, asking for this or that. Turning on the TV on one channel and it doesn't get changed to some stupid show.
    Or not turning it on and having absolute silence. 
    You can light a cigar and get lost in the smoke.
    Sigh...........it's such a rare occurrence. 
    1 Year, at least, after the 1st batch of "just for a couple of months temporary assistance family moved out" I stepped on a 1/2 inch horned hippo toy buried in the hallway carpet.
    I like kids, as the joke goes, as long as they are someone else's and are going to leave.
    It just occurred to my wife last night that we have had only 2 days by ourselves in this house. Both of those days were spent sitting and sleeping on the floor because none of our furniture survived the tornado. We miss those days.

    Right now 5 of those kids and parents are working their butts off, in the heat, doing whatever I and my wife can find for them to do. Fences, shelters for the horses, weed eating and you name it. I feel good, smoking a cigar in my ACed BR and trying to decide beer or coffee. >:)
  • YaksterYakster Posts: 27,585 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Join us on Zoom vHerf (Meeting # 2619860114 Password vHerf2020 )
  • webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭
    That's funny Yakster.


    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)


  • webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited July 2017




    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)


  • jd50aejd50ae Posts: 7,900 ✭✭✭✭✭
  • 0patience0patience Posts: 10,665 ✭✭✭✭✭
    These made me laugh.




    In Fumo Pax
    Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy cigars and that's close enough.

    Wylaff said:
    Atmospheric pressure and crap.
  • webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭
    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)


  • WylaffWylaff Posts: 5,360 ✭✭✭✭✭
    It's amazing that not one person seems to know how sausage works. Funny video.
    "Cooking isn't about struggling; It's about pleasure. It's like sǝx, with a wider variety of sauces."

    At any given time the urge to sing "In The Jungle" is just a whim away... A whim away... A whim away...
  • peter4jcpeter4jc Posts: 16,476 ✭✭✭✭✭
    My neighbor found out her dog could hardly hear so she took it to the veterinarian. He found that the problem was hair in its ears. He cleaned both ears and the dog could hear fine. The vet then proceeded to tell the lady that if she wanted to keep this from recurring she should go to the store and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once a
    month.
    The lady goes to the drug store and gets some Nair" hair remover. At the register the pharmacist tells her, "If you're going to use this under your arms, don't use deodorant for a few days." The lady says, "I'm not using it
    under my arms."
    The pharmacist says, "Well if you're using it on your legs, don't shave for a couple of days."
    The lady says, "I'm not using it on my legs either. If you must know, I'm using it on my schnauzer."
    The pharmacist says, "Oh, well then stay off your bicycle for a week.

    "I could've had a Mi Querida!"   Nick Bardis
  • webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭





    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)


  • 0patience0patience Posts: 10,665 ✭✭✭✭✭
    In Fumo Pax
    Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy cigars and that's close enough.

    Wylaff said:
    Atmospheric pressure and crap.
  • 0patience0patience Posts: 10,665 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Guessing these cartoons wouldn't be made today.








    In Fumo Pax
    Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy cigars and that's close enough.

    Wylaff said:
    Atmospheric pressure and crap.
  • miller65rodmiller65rod Posts: 3,630 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Free Cuba
    "I ain't got no Opus's"
    LLA
    - Lancero Lovers of America
    2016 Gang War (South)
    May I assss u a ?

              
  • webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭
    That's hilarious right there.

    I you hire a clown, expect to watch a circus.
    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)


  • miller65rodmiller65rod Posts: 3,630 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Free Cuba
    "I ain't got no Opus's"
    LLA
    - Lancero Lovers of America
    2016 Gang War (South)
    May I assss u a ?

              
  • miller65rodmiller65rod Posts: 3,630 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited August 2017
    Free Cuba
    "I ain't got no Opus's"
    LLA
    - Lancero Lovers of America
    2016 Gang War (South)
    May I assss u a ?

              
  • miller65rodmiller65rod Posts: 3,630 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited August 2017

    Americas Funniest Home Videos funny lol golf fail GIF
    Free Cuba
    "I ain't got no Opus's"
    LLA
    - Lancero Lovers of America
    2016 Gang War (South)
    May I assss u a ?

              
  • webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭
    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)


  • jd50aejd50ae Posts: 7,900 ✭✭✭✭✭
  • 0patience0patience Posts: 10,665 ✭✭✭✭✭
    When your wife sees something on the internet and says it sounds like you.


    In Fumo Pax
    Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy cigars and that's close enough.

    Wylaff said:
    Atmospheric pressure and crap.
  • 0patience0patience Posts: 10,665 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited August 2017
    Oregon this weekend.
    Record high pot and alcohol sales, several million people pouring into Oregon, extreme fire danger and an eclipse, what could go wrong?
    In Fumo Pax
    Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy cigars and that's close enough.

    Wylaff said:
    Atmospheric pressure and crap.
  • jd50aejd50ae Posts: 7,900 ✭✭✭✭✭
  • miller65rodmiller65rod Posts: 3,630 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Meanwhile on Hannity tonight







    Free Cuba
    "I ain't got no Opus's"
    LLA
    - Lancero Lovers of America
    2016 Gang War (South)
    May I assss u a ?

              
  • jd50aejd50ae Posts: 7,900 ✭✭✭✭✭
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