I hate to tell you this Marty, but you've posted on a social media site over 5,000 times
It may be your interpretation of social media (and in a way, you're right) but if you've never tried it try unsubscribing from f*ckbook. If that's not a crock of sh*t I don't know what is.
And it wouldnt have been so bad, maybe, if I hadn't received a post from someone every thirty seconds or so and most of those were from someone's fifteenth cousin twice removed whom I had never heard of before. Who's got time for that crap? Certainly not me.....
A young man with his pants hanging half off his rear, two gold front teeth, and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck, walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.
He marched up to the counter and said, “Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I’d really rather have a job. I don’t like taking advantage of the system, getting something for nothing.”
The social worker behind the counter said “Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You’ll have to drive around in his 2014 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes.”
“Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You’ll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say, but you will also have, as part of your job, the assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20’s and has a rather strong sex drive.”
The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, “You’re bull-sh*ttin’ me!”
The social worker said, “Yeah, well.. You started it…”
My wife's birthday is next week and she told me she'd be happy as long as I got her something with a lot of diamonds in it.
She's gonna love this pack of playing cards I got her.
Better take it back. She was talking about minor league baseball tickets, you dope.
“It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
^^^ That reminds me of when I was dating my wife... I couldn't get to first base without a diamond.
badump bump
“It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
Hey, Peter @peter4jc, are you the guy who got this letter?
A firm in Germany ordered coffee from an American firm and while the coffee was enroute a few bags split open making it possile for rats to nest in them. The Germans sent the following letter to the firm in the U.S. :
Schentlemens,
Der last 2 packeches ve got from you of Kaffee vas mit rattschidt
gemixt. Der Kaffee maybe gute enuff, but dur ratt turds schboils der taste. Ve did not see der rattschidt in der samples vich you sent us. It takes so much time to pik der ratt schidt from der Kaffee, dat its hardly wart it. Ve order der Kaffee clean and you schipt schidt mixt mit it.
It vas a mistake ja? Ve like you to ship us der Kaffee in vun sack und der ratt schidt in anudder - den ve mix it to suit our customer.
Write blease if ve should keep der schidt and schip der Kaffee bek, or schip der whole schidden vorks bek.
Ve vant to do right in dis matter, but ve don't like all dis rattschidt
“It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
For a second there I thought it was @peter4jc and coffee.
Team O'Donnell FTW!
"I've got a great cigar collection - it's actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn't going to smoke ever last one of 'em." - Ron White
For a second there I thought it was @peter4jc and coffee.
That there's a micro aggression.
“It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
“It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
Comments
And it wouldnt have been so bad, maybe, if I hadn't received a post from someone every thirty seconds or so and most of those were from someone's fifteenth cousin twice removed whom I had never heard of before. Who's got time for that crap? Certainly not me.....
I tell my kids this is cigar media not social media
A young man with his pants hanging half off his rear, two gold front teeth, and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck, walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.
He marched up to the counter and said, “Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I’d really rather have a job. I don’t like taking advantage of the system, getting something for nothing.”
The social worker behind the counter said “Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You’ll have to drive around in his 2014 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes.”
“Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You’ll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say, but you will also have, as part of your job, the assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20’s and has a rather strong sex drive.”
The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, “You’re bull-sh*ttin’ me!”
The social worker said, “Yeah, well.. You started it…”
She's gonna love this pack of playing cards I got her.
* I have a new address as of 3/24/18 *
i'll have to call my buddy in cleveland and see if he has any spare tribe tickets....
* I have a new address as of 3/24/18 *
"I ain't got no Opus's"
LLA - Lancero Lovers of America
2016 Gang War (South)
May I assss u a ?
Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy cigars and that's close enough.
Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy cigars and that's close enough.
Haven't seen this, but I did hear of a coffee distro from the Dominican Republic that had worms in with the green coffee. Not one of Peter's distros.
Talk about worms in your coffee:
That's some funny right there!
A box of pooty grabbers. I am sure these will sell out soon.
This shiit reminds me of
They probably taste just as bad also.
"I ain't got no Opus's"
LLA - Lancero Lovers of America
2016 Gang War (South)
May I assss u a ?
"I ain't got no Opus's"
LLA - Lancero Lovers of America
2016 Gang War (South)
May I assss u a ?
Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy cigars and that's close enough.
"I've got a great cigar collection - it's actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn't going to smoke ever last one of 'em." - Ron White
You are old if you have dialed a phone number and didn't quite get the dial all the way around and had to redial the whole number all over again.
You are old if you read the previous one and understood it.
You are old if you ever used your toes to change the channel.
You are old, if you were Dad's remote control for the tv.
You are old if, you were told many times to sit down in the car.
You are old if you wouldn't have been caught wearing a helmet bike riding.
You are old if you kept match books as much for 8 track tapes, as you did for smoking.
You are old if having to turn to channel 56 meant using a different dial on the tv.
You are old if sitting 10 feet from the phone to talk was a luxury, but you had to be careful what the cord got hooked on.
You are old if a belt had multiple uses and children's services never got called.
You are old if you could buy a candy bar, pop and comic book for a dollar and still have change left.
You are old if you went to the store to get cigarettes for your parents with a note from them or you just went to a vending machine to get them.
You are old if a tv show came on and you missed it, because you were out playing and had to wait for it to come on again to watch it.
Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy cigars and that's close enough.