“It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
His wife screams at him. "My hair & makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I'm still in my pyjamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight! What the hell did you bring him home for?”
“It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
If @ssholes had wings, this place would be an airport. A quote from the guy who got his aces beat by 2-7 on the first hand of a tournament I dealt yesterday.
Friends don't let good friends smoke cheap cigars.
If @ssholes had wings, this place would be an airport. A quote from the guy who got his aces beat by 2-7 on the first hand of a tournament I dealt yesterday.
When you say 'tournament' I assume you're speaking of Texas Hold'em?? So the guy with the Aces got bluffed out by the 2-7? Isn't that what Hold'em is all about???
No limit hold-em 55 dollar buy in. Guy with aces was the button, all in pre-flop, 2-7 was the big blind and called without looking at his cards! Remember when I said keeping my mouth shut is the hardest part of my job? It was difficult not to laugh!
Friends don't let good friends smoke cheap cigars.
They say the two happiest days in life are the day you buy a boat and the day you sell it!! Well, here's a good boat story!!
Joe and John were identical twins. Joe owned an old dilapidated boat and kept pretty much to himself. One day he rented out his boat to a group of out-of-staters who sank it. Joe spent all day trying to salvage as much stuff as he could and was out of touch all that day and most of the evening.
Unknown to him, his brother John's wife died suddenly. When he got back on shore he went into town to pick up a few things at the grocery. A kind old neighbour woman mistook him for John and said "I'm so sorry for your loss. You must feel terrible."
Joe, thinking she was talking about his boat, said "Hell no! The fact is I'm so glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always holding water. She had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to those four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good and smelled bad. But they wanted her anyway. The damn fools tried to get in her all at one time and she split right up the middle!"
“It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
“It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
Anybody know the definition of the word 'coward'? A coward is a guy who wakes up in the morning with his nose in his wife's armpit and he's afraid to open his eyes... <drum roll>.
“It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
Comments
Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy cigars and that's close enough.
She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave
and got your hair cut, you'd look all right."
I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends
over there instead of you."
His wife screams at him. "My hair & makeup are not done, the house is a mess,
the dishes are not done, I'm still in my pyjamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight!
What the hell did you bring him home for?”
"He's thinking of getting married...."
A quote from the guy who got his aces beat by 2-7 on the first hand of a tournament I dealt yesterday.
Remember when I said keeping my mouth shut is the hardest part of my job?
It was difficult not to laugh!
and the day you sell it!! Well, here's a good boat story!!
Joe and John were identical twins. Joe owned an old dilapidated
boat and kept pretty much to himself. One day he rented out his
boat to a group of out-of-staters who sank it. Joe spent all day
trying to salvage as much stuff as he could and was out of touch
all that day and most of the evening.
Unknown to him, his brother John's wife died suddenly. When he
got back on shore he went into town to pick up a few things at the
grocery. A kind old neighbour woman mistook him for John and said
"I'm so sorry for your loss. You must feel terrible."
Joe, thinking she was talking about his boat, said "Hell no! The fact
is I'm so glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from
the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled
like old dead fish. She was always holding water. She had a bad
crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every
time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I
guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to those
four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't
very good and smelled bad. But they wanted her anyway. The damn
fools tried to get in her all at one time and she split right up
the middle!"
The old girl keeled over!
Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy cigars and that's close enough.
Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy cigars and that's close enough.
Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy cigars and that's close enough.
media. Hope it was a funny one....