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you can't make this stuff up

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  • Amos_UmwhatAmos_Umwhat Posts: 8,941 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Awesome post @webmost , Proving once again that Einstein was right, stupidity has no limits. 

    Wow! 

    Major Scale WOW! 

    Just, wow! 

    I had no idea.
    WARNING:  The above post may contain thoughts or ideas known to the State of Caliphornia to cause seething rage, confusion, distemper, nausea, perspiration, sphincter release, or cranial implosion to persons who implicitly trust only one news source, or find themselves at either the left or right political extreme.  Proceed at your own risk.  

    "If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed.  If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." --  Mark Twain
  • jd50aejd50ae Posts: 7,900 ✭✭✭✭✭
    OldGnome said:
    webmost said:
    Does anyone else find Hillary Clinton attacking Tulsi Gabbard as a Russian asset to be one of the most bizarre things in the Golden Era of Bizarre Things?



    I do. Even for Hillary, that was strange. 
    I remember jimmy carter pardoning an awol slick willy. The clintonistas paraded in the streets, I believe in both Russia and England, while he was awol. And then the perogies helped put them in the white house. One little stroke of the pen and we have put up with the clintonistas until they die. Lord only knows how long their corruption will affect us.
  • webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭
    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)


  • jd50aejd50ae Posts: 7,900 ✭✭✭✭✭
    GOP lawmakers storm closed-door impeachment session, as Schiff walks out

    https://www.foxnews.com/politics/gop-lawmakers-in-blasting-secret-impeachment-probe-before-attempting-to-storm-the-proceedings

    SHITF really has to go.
  • VegasFrankVegasFrank Posts: 18,449 ✭✭✭✭✭
    From the non political "can't make this stuff up" file:

    We have a "joke of the day" board on our cafeteria.  I, as a foster parent, found this one funny and offensive at the same time:

    Why don't foster kids play baseball?

    Because they don't know where home is.

    Yeah, they went there.  Look, it is a funny joke, and if I was at a chris rock show or on this forum, I would have laughed.  But this is work and in a public place that sees hundreds of people daily.

    It was taken down shortly after I talked to the manager....
    Disclaimer:  All trolling is provided for the sole entertainment purposes of the author only. Readers may find entertainment and hard core truths, but none are intended. Any resulting damaged feelings or arse chapping of the reader are the sole responsibility of the reader, to include, but not limited to: crying, anger, revenge pørn, and abandonment or deletion of ccom accounts. Offer void in Utah because Utah is terrible.
  • silvermousesilvermouse Posts: 21,189 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Yeah, but don't get too bent out of shape. You should hear the jokes autists and people recovering from alcoholism, incest, and drugs tell. Dark humor can be shame-busting.
  • YaksterYakster Posts: 28,112 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Can be shame busting... but usually only when coming from within the community. When those jokes come from outside, feelings can be hurt.
    Join us on Zoom vHerf (Meeting # 2619860114 Password vHerf2020 )
  • CalvinAndHoboCalvinAndHobo Posts: 3,140 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Yakster said:
    Can be shame busting... but usually only when coming from within the community. When those jokes come from outside, feelings can be hurt.
    Friends can joke about pretty much anything with me, strangers cannot. 
  • VegasFrankVegasFrank Posts: 18,449 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Yeah, like I said, I'm not all åss hurt or anything...but not in a public place man!  
    Disclaimer:  All trolling is provided for the sole entertainment purposes of the author only. Readers may find entertainment and hard core truths, but none are intended. Any resulting damaged feelings or arse chapping of the reader are the sole responsibility of the reader, to include, but not limited to: crying, anger, revenge pørn, and abandonment or deletion of ccom accounts. Offer void in Utah because Utah is terrible.
  • webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭
    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)


  • webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Tech has officially gone to Hi


    https://youtu.be/1BB6wj6RyKo
    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)


  • silvermousesilvermouse Posts: 21,189 ✭✭✭✭✭
    no f-ing comment
  • OldGnomeOldGnome Posts: 58 ✭✭✭
    I have worked in IT since 1979. Having to factory-reset a lightbulb is something I never thought about. It's not necessarily ludicrous when you consider that the lightbulbs in question are actually computers that are controlled by another computer. We still haven't reached a level of IT sophistication where systems never need to be restarted or reconfigured. We just don't notice it much.
    =-=-=-=
    Just an Old Gnome
  • peter4jcpeter4jc Posts: 16,755 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Now we know why Edward wants a smartphone, so he can control his light bulbs with it.
    "I could've had a Mi Querida!"   Nick Bardis
  • webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭
    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)


  • silvermousesilvermouse Posts: 21,189 ✭✭✭✭✭

    GOD AND LAWN CARE
    GOD to ST. FRANCIS:

    Frank ,  You know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there on the planet?  What happened to the dandelions, violets, milkweeds and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But, all I see are these green rectangles.

    St. FRANCIS:
    It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers 'weeds' and went to Great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.

    GOD:
    Grass? But, it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees; only grubs and sod worms. It's sensitive to temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?

    ST. FRANCIS:
    Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.

    GOD:
    The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.

    ST. FRANCIS:
    Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it-sometimes twice a week.

    GOD:
    They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?

    ST. FRANCIS:
    Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.

    GOD:
    They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?

    ST. FRANCIS:
    No, Sir, just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.

    GOD:
    Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And, when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?

    ST. FRANCIS:
    Yes, Sir.

    GOD:
    These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.

    ST. FRANCIS:
    You aren't going to believe this, Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it, so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.

    GOD:
    What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn, they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. It's a natural cycle of life.

    ST. FRANCIS:
    You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away.

    GOD:
    No!? What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter to keep the soil moist and loose?

    ST. FRANCIS:
    After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.

    GOD:
    And where do they get this mulch?

    ST. FRANCIS:
    They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.

    GOD:
    Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?

    ST. CATHERINE:
    'Dumb and Dumber', Lord. It's a story about....

    GOD:
    Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis              
  • jd50aejd50ae Posts: 7,900 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Trump says he kept details of ISIS operation from Pelosi to avoid leaks


    https://www.foxnews.com/politics/trump-says-he-kept-details-of-isis-operation-from-pelosi-to-avoid-leaks
  • Amos_UmwhatAmos_Umwhat Posts: 8,941 ✭✭✭✭✭
    jd50ae said:

    Trump says he kept details of ISIS operation from Pelosi to avoid leaks


    https://www.foxnews.com/politics/trump-says-he-kept-details-of-isis-operation-from-pelosi-to-avoid-leaks
    Makes sense.
    WARNING:  The above post may contain thoughts or ideas known to the State of Caliphornia to cause seething rage, confusion, distemper, nausea, perspiration, sphincter release, or cranial implosion to persons who implicitly trust only one news source, or find themselves at either the left or right political extreme.  Proceed at your own risk.  

    "If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed.  If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." --  Mark Twain
  • jd50aejd50ae Posts: 7,900 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I expected to see some feedback from pelosi in the news today......maybe "she" is holding a closed door meeting with fellow dems to discuss impeachment again....
  • peter4jcpeter4jc Posts: 16,755 ✭✭✭✭✭
    From the Washington ComPost...

    Washington Post headline about ISIS leader al-Baghdadi’s death refers to him as “austere religious scholar”


    "I could've had a Mi Querida!"   Nick Bardis
  • webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭

    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)


  • Amos_UmwhatAmos_Umwhat Posts: 8,941 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Looking at that Washington Post header, is that a slogan, or a mission statement?
    WARNING:  The above post may contain thoughts or ideas known to the State of Caliphornia to cause seething rage, confusion, distemper, nausea, perspiration, sphincter release, or cranial implosion to persons who implicitly trust only one news source, or find themselves at either the left or right political extreme.  Proceed at your own risk.  

    "If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed.  If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." --  Mark Twain
  • webmostwebmost Posts: 7,713 ✭✭✭✭✭


    I do love the Babylon Bee
    “It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)


  • jd50aejd50ae Posts: 7,900 ✭✭✭✭✭
    webmost said:


    I do love the Babylon Bee
    Huh....What The....Oh....Funny 
  • jd50aejd50ae Posts: 7,900 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November 2019
    The New York Times says airing national anthem on TV could trigger viewers who hear ‘political overtones’

    Well it is fairly clear that weenies, liberals, snowflakes and.......I think I will just leave this here. You will of course, make up your own minds
  • OldGnomeOldGnome Posts: 58 ✭✭✭
    jd50ae said:
    The New York Times says airing national anthem on TV could trigger viewers who hear ‘political overtones’

    Well it is fairly clear that weenies, liberals, snowflakes and.......I think I will just leave this here. You will of course, make up your own minds
    As the article says, it's just a couple-hour drive from NYT's HQ to Canada. They can go already.
    =-=-=-=
    Just an Old Gnome
  • silvermousesilvermouse Posts: 21,189 ✭✭✭✭✭

    From @[WSJ Opinion]: Working-class Americans now pay the tax collector a slightly larger share of their incomes (about 25%) than do the richest 400, who earn more than $450 million a year on average, writes Alan S. Blinder.
  • Diver43Diver43 Posts: 2,169 ✭✭✭✭✭

    From @[WSJ Opinion]: Working-class Americans now pay the tax collector a slightly larger share of their incomes (about 25%) than do the richest 400, who earn more than $450 million a year on average, writes Alan S. Blinder.
    As long as they are using legitimate tax breaks I am OK with it. What bothers me most are those that earn nearly nothing, pay hardly anything then get a huge return. Not everyone agrees, but a flat tax paid by everyone would be fairest
    Logistics cannot win a war, but its absence or inadequacy can cause defeat. FM100-5
  • 0patience0patience Posts: 10,665 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November 2019
    Diver43 said:

    From @[WSJ Opinion]: Working-class Americans now pay the tax collector a slightly larger share of their incomes (about 25%) than do the richest 400, who earn more than $450 million a year on average, writes Alan S. Blinder.
    As long as they are using legitimate tax breaks I am OK with it. What bothers me most are those that earn nearly nothing, pay hardly anything then get a huge return. Not everyone agrees, but a flat tax paid by everyone would be fairest
    It is interesting that there was no income tax prior to 1913.
    So in 100 years, we went from no income tax to a considerable one and even so much as to start taking deductions, like home interest away from the working man.

    A flat tax would be great, but you know that they will then start giving deductions to the wealthy, cause you know they need it to keep their wealth going.
    Then businesses will need deductions and to keep the working man voting for them, they'll have to add deductions for the working man and we'll be right back to where we are.

    Over taxation has been the downfall of many civilizations. 
    I suspect that we will be no different.
    In Fumo Pax
    Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy cigars and that's close enough.

    Wylaff said:
    Atmospheric pressure and crap.
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