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Stupid **** that pops into my head

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  • Amos_UmwhatAmos_Umwhat Posts: 8,835 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @Wylaff said:
    We will need to increase the rate at which we review these cases so we can keep abreast of the issue.

    Well said, safety first.

    WARNING:  The above post may contain thoughts or ideas known to the State of Caliphornia to cause seething rage, confusion, distemper, nausea, perspiration, sphincter release, or cranial implosion to persons who implicitly trust only one news source, or find themselves at either the left or right political extreme.  Proceed at your own risk.  

    "If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed.  If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." --  Mark Twain
  • Trykflyr_1Trykflyr_1 Posts: 2,514 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited January 2021

    Our thrust is to **** holes in the stiff front erected by the **** dealers.

    Seriously?? p r i c k & s m u t are banned???

    I'm still troubled by what I did for that Klondike bar...
  • Amos_UmwhatAmos_Umwhat Posts: 8,835 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Why do the cats run across 20 feet of linoleum to barf on the rug?

    Follow up question:

    Why do I let the cats into the house?

    WARNING:  The above post may contain thoughts or ideas known to the State of Caliphornia to cause seething rage, confusion, distemper, nausea, perspiration, sphincter release, or cranial implosion to persons who implicitly trust only one news source, or find themselves at either the left or right political extreme.  Proceed at your own risk.  

    "If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed.  If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." --  Mark Twain
  • silvermousesilvermouse Posts: 20,844 ✭✭✭✭✭

    They're just being considerate.

  • ShawnOLShawnOL Posts: 9,551 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Cats just seem to prefer barfing on carpet. They're spiteful little bastages.

    Trapped in the People's Communist Republic of Massachusetts.

  • VisionVision Posts: 8,483 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited January 2021

    I walked by my thermostat..... it read 69 I said out loud “not now”

  • YaksterYakster Posts: 27,595 ✭✭✭✭✭

    I bought the red and the blue Powerade Zero drinks and can't tell the difference between them. The rest of the family likes blue so I drank the red. I can tell the difference between these and the white cherry Powerade Zero bottles, but they're hens teeth.

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  • CharlieHeisCharlieHeis Posts: 8,524 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @Vision said:
    I walked by my thermostat..... it read 69 I said out loud “not now”

    The proper response dictated by the internet is "Nice."

  • CharlieHeisCharlieHeis Posts: 8,524 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @CharlieHeis said:

    @Vision said:
    I walked by my thermostat..... it read 69 I said out loud “not now”

    The proper response dictated by the internet is "Nice."

    A couple years ago a college football announcer stated that a player had 69 yards rushing and the analyst added a very subtle 'nice' on the air. He was the hero of the day on Twitter.

  • YaksterYakster Posts: 27,595 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Paris Las Vegas Eiffel Tower observation deck.

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  • silvermousesilvermouse Posts: 20,844 ✭✭✭✭✭
  • YaksterYakster Posts: 27,595 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Wow

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  • Trykflyr_1Trykflyr_1 Posts: 2,514 ✭✭✭✭✭

    But..but...but...these are our leaders! They're sooooo much smarter than we unwashed masses of the proletariat. If we all just believe everything they say and have faith they have our absolute best interests in mind, we'd be infinitely better off.

    🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    I'm still troubled by what I did for that Klondike bar...
  • Diver43Diver43 Posts: 2,169 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Right on par with Hank Johnson being concerned that the island of Guam might get overpopulated and turn flip over.
    Yesterday she was all over the news because a old video of her questioning David Hogg surfaced. She is either being targeted to take attention away from something the Dems are up to as she claims, or she truly is a whackadoodle

    Logistics cannot win a war, but its absence or inadequacy can cause defeat. FM100-5
  • VisionVision Posts: 8,483 ✭✭✭✭✭

    After years at the gym I’ve never heard a female fart in the gym .....

  • ShawnOLShawnOL Posts: 9,551 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @Vision said:
    After years at the gym I’ve never heard a female fart in the gym .....

    Women don't fart.

    Trapped in the People's Communist Republic of Massachusetts.

  • YaksterYakster Posts: 27,595 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Unless they're getting a massage.

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  • GuitardedGuitarded Posts: 4,705 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @Vision said:
    After years at the gym I’ve never heard a female fart in the gym .....

    .....but I have heard them flutter. 😵

    Friends don't let good friends smoke cheap cigars.
  • jlmartajlmarta Posts: 7,881 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @ShawnOL said:

    @Vision said:
    After years at the gym I’ve never heard a female fart in the gym .....

    Women don't fart.

    No, they exhale softly through the nether region of their bodies... with added lavender essence.... 🙄🙄

  • Amos_UmwhatAmos_Umwhat Posts: 8,835 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Sit ups

    WARNING:  The above post may contain thoughts or ideas known to the State of Caliphornia to cause seething rage, confusion, distemper, nausea, perspiration, sphincter release, or cranial implosion to persons who implicitly trust only one news source, or find themselves at either the left or right political extreme.  Proceed at your own risk.  

    "If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed.  If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." --  Mark Twain
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