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Stupid **** that pops into my head

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  • ShawnOLShawnOL Posts: 9,553 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Have you ever noticed that almost everything that walks, crawls, swims or flies has two eyes?

    Trapped in the People's Communist Republic of Massachusetts.

  • d_bladesd_blades Posts: 3,973 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Am I the only one who carries a chapstick just to patch my smokes?

    Don't let the wife know what you spend on guns, ammo or cigars.

  • ForMudForMud Posts: 2,336 ✭✭✭✭✭

    It took him 36 minutes to decide not to post that......Musta been good.

  • YaksterYakster Posts: 27,595 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @d_blades said:
    Am I the only one who carries a chapstick just to patch my smokes?

    Used to be an EDC item for me in the before times. Now I just keep one handy where I smoke.

    Join us on Zoom vHerf (Meeting # 2619860114 Password vHerf2020 )
  • ShawnOLShawnOL Posts: 9,553 ✭✭✭✭✭

    If you drive on a Parkway and park in a Driveway, do you jerk in a Circle?

    Trapped in the People's Communist Republic of Massachusetts.

  • Amos_UmwhatAmos_Umwhat Posts: 8,835 ✭✭✭✭✭

    I wonder if the so-called stimulus checks are just a way to soften us up for the enactment of the National Living Wage Act, where we all get $1,000 a month to sit home and watch the Game Show network and vote for who we're told to vote for?

    WARNING:  The above post may contain thoughts or ideas known to the State of Caliphornia to cause seething rage, confusion, distemper, nausea, perspiration, sphincter release, or cranial implosion to persons who implicitly trust only one news source, or find themselves at either the left or right political extreme.  Proceed at your own risk.  

    "If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed.  If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." --  Mark Twain
  • d_bladesd_blades Posts: 3,973 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @Amos_Umwhat said:
    I wonder if the so-called stimulus checks are just a way to soften us up for the enactment of the National Living Wage Act, where we all get $1,000 a month to sit home and watch the Game Show network and vote for who we're told to vote for?

    I'm going to need more than 1000.

    Don't let the wife know what you spend on guns, ammo or cigars.

  • VegasFrankVegasFrank Posts: 18,151 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Don't they already have a $1K per month "dividend" in alaska?

    Disclaimer:  All trolling is provided for the sole entertainment purposes of the author only. Readers may find entertainment and hard core truths, but none are intended. Any resulting damaged feelings or arse chapping of the reader are the sole responsibility of the reader, to include, but not limited to: crying, anger, revenge pørn, and abandonment or deletion of ccom accounts. Offer void in Utah because Utah is terrible.
  • d_bladesd_blades Posts: 3,973 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @VegasFrank said:
    Don't they already have a $1K per month "dividend" in alaska?

    It's an annual payment and getting smaller due to current energy policy.

    Don't let the wife know what you spend on guns, ammo or cigars.

  • VegasFrankVegasFrank Posts: 18,151 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @d_blades said:

    @VegasFrank said:
    Don't they already have a $1K per month "dividend" in alaska?

    It's an annual payment and getting smaller due to current energy policy.

    Yeah I remember I had an opportunity for it but steered clear of it. They were going after military guys who were collecting it during their 4-year tours and then never returning to alaska. Back when I was there, it was 12 grand a year, or about $1,000 a month #freedomdividend

    Disclaimer:  All trolling is provided for the sole entertainment purposes of the author only. Readers may find entertainment and hard core truths, but none are intended. Any resulting damaged feelings or arse chapping of the reader are the sole responsibility of the reader, to include, but not limited to: crying, anger, revenge pørn, and abandonment or deletion of ccom accounts. Offer void in Utah because Utah is terrible.
  • Amos_UmwhatAmos_Umwhat Posts: 8,835 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Yeah, but, the Alaska check money came from the sale of oil, share the wealth. The National check will come from you, share your wealth with those who won't work.

    WARNING:  The above post may contain thoughts or ideas known to the State of Caliphornia to cause seething rage, confusion, distemper, nausea, perspiration, sphincter release, or cranial implosion to persons who implicitly trust only one news source, or find themselves at either the left or right political extreme.  Proceed at your own risk.  

    "If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed.  If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." --  Mark Twain
  • VegasFrankVegasFrank Posts: 18,151 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @Amos_Umwhat said:
    Yeah, but, the Alaska check money came from the sale of oil, share the wealth. The National check will come from you, share your wealth with those who won't work.

    Interesting. Don't know enough about it to speak intelligently, but it seems to me that the oil in Alaska is not nationalized. Is it owned by the state?

    Disclaimer:  All trolling is provided for the sole entertainment purposes of the author only. Readers may find entertainment and hard core truths, but none are intended. Any resulting damaged feelings or arse chapping of the reader are the sole responsibility of the reader, to include, but not limited to: crying, anger, revenge pørn, and abandonment or deletion of ccom accounts. Offer void in Utah because Utah is terrible.
  • Amos_UmwhatAmos_Umwhat Posts: 8,835 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited April 2021

    @VegasFrank said:

    @Amos_Umwhat said:
    Yeah, but, the Alaska check money came from the sale of oil, share the wealth. The National check will come from you, share your wealth with those who won't work.

    Interesting. Don't know enough about it to speak intelligently, but it seems to me that the oil in Alaska is not nationalized. Is it owned by the state?

    If memory serves it was part of the deal with the Alaskans to allow opening up the northern fields. Politics. The State stood to gain enormously. As the State claims to represent, therefore for all intents and purposes to "be" We The People, and has therefore always required The People to contribute, why shouldn't they share the profits? They're the investors.

    Of course, these are events that were all distant from me that happened decades ago. My memory may be flawed, and there may be others here who know, or are willing to investigate, more than me.

    WARNING:  The above post may contain thoughts or ideas known to the State of Caliphornia to cause seething rage, confusion, distemper, nausea, perspiration, sphincter release, or cranial implosion to persons who implicitly trust only one news source, or find themselves at either the left or right political extreme.  Proceed at your own risk.  

    "If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed.  If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." --  Mark Twain
  • Rdp77Rdp77 Posts: 6,566 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Does a dyslexic atheist not believe in Dog? 🤔

  • VegasFrankVegasFrank Posts: 18,151 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited April 2021

    Or dogma...oh wait, that's a narcissist.

    Disclaimer:  All trolling is provided for the sole entertainment purposes of the author only. Readers may find entertainment and hard core truths, but none are intended. Any resulting damaged feelings or arse chapping of the reader are the sole responsibility of the reader, to include, but not limited to: crying, anger, revenge pørn, and abandonment or deletion of ccom accounts. Offer void in Utah because Utah is terrible.
  • peter4jcpeter4jc Posts: 16,499 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @Rdp77 said:
    Does a dyslexic atheist not believe in Dog? 🤔

    He's also an insomniac; lays awake at night wondering there really is a dog.

    "I could've had a Mi Querida!"   Nick Bardis
  • d_bladesd_blades Posts: 3,973 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Heard something the other day about Alaska going to court over the feds stopping drilling in the Anwar

    Don't let the wife know what you spend on guns, ammo or cigars.

  • YankeeManYankeeMan Posts: 2,654 ✭✭✭✭✭

    I think there is already one started about closing the pipeline. Gas here is already up $.70.

  • Amos_UmwhatAmos_Umwhat Posts: 8,835 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Does spooning lead to forking?

    WARNING:  The above post may contain thoughts or ideas known to the State of Caliphornia to cause seething rage, confusion, distemper, nausea, perspiration, sphincter release, or cranial implosion to persons who implicitly trust only one news source, or find themselves at either the left or right political extreme.  Proceed at your own risk.  

    "If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed.  If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." --  Mark Twain
  • IndustMechIndustMech Posts: 4,940 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @CtheHam said:

    @Amos_Umwhat said:
    Does spooning lead to forking?

    I guess it depends on what you ware.

    Like socks?

    I know, You're a big dog and I'm on the list.
    Let's eat, GrandMa.  /  Let's eat GrandMa.  --  Punctuation saves lives

    It'll be fine once the swelling goes down.

  • YaksterYakster Posts: 27,595 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited April 2021

    And keep one foot on the floor.

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  • Trykflyr_1Trykflyr_1 Posts: 2,514 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Fellas, the Dividend check is a one time annual payment from the proceeds from a $60+ billion fund that was set up in the late 70’s and gets cash influx from the state’s revenue from oil production. To qualify, you have to live here from Jan 1 thru Dec 31and establish permanent residency (The application process is pretty thorough). So to receive the 2020 dividend check, you’d have to have residency established prior to Jan 1, 2020.

    The first checks came out in 1982; the largest was just over $2000, in 2015. Payouts are based off the last 5 years performance of the fund itself, irrespective of oil production or price. It’s just a bigass mutual fund the state contributes to and the residents get a portion of the profits each year.

    I'm still troubled by what I did for that Klondike bar...
  • Trykflyr_1Trykflyr_1 Posts: 2,514 ✭✭✭✭✭

    That’s only because you send it here, Brother.

    I'm still troubled by what I did for that Klondike bar...
  • RhamlinRhamlin Posts: 9,033 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @d_blades said:
    Am I the only one who carries a chapstick just to patch my smokes?

    Always have a tube in my pocket

  • Amos_UmwhatAmos_Umwhat Posts: 8,835 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @peter4jc said:
    ^^^ no wonder you're always smoking the good crap.

    Are we still talking about cigars?

    WARNING:  The above post may contain thoughts or ideas known to the State of Caliphornia to cause seething rage, confusion, distemper, nausea, perspiration, sphincter release, or cranial implosion to persons who implicitly trust only one news source, or find themselves at either the left or right political extreme.  Proceed at your own risk.  

    "If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed.  If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." --  Mark Twain
  • jlmartajlmarta Posts: 7,881 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @Amos_Umwhat said:

    @peter4jc said:
    ^^^ no wonder you're always smoking the good crap.

    Are we still talking about cigars?

    With some guys, ya never know...🙄

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