WARNING: The above post may contain thoughts or ideas known to the State of Caliphornia to cause seething rage, confusion, distemper, nausea, perspiration, sphincter release, or cranial implosion to persons who implicitly trust only one news source, or find themselves at either the left or right political extreme. Proceed at your own risk.
"If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed. If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." -- Mark Twain
Mark twain, as in 2 fathoms, the safe river clearance for a river boat
Firkin, half a kilderkin
I defy you to find the codger who measures his beer in kilderkins. Not a thing.
Might as well measure rye by the stagger.
“It has been a source of great pain to me to have met with so many among [my] opponents who had not the liberality to distinguish between political and social opposition; who transferred at once to the person, the hatred they bore to his political opinions.” —Thomas Jefferson (1808)
WARNING: The above post may contain thoughts or ideas known to the State of Caliphornia to cause seething rage, confusion, distemper, nausea, perspiration, sphincter release, or cranial implosion to persons who implicitly trust only one news source, or find themselves at either the left or right political extreme. Proceed at your own risk.
"If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed. If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." -- Mark Twain
Comments
Lickity Split. Not what it sounds like 😂
One is more fun than the other!
Gettin' your ears lowered. A vHerf Brother needed that one explained the other evening.
Off the collar.
Or some may know this one well.
High on the forehead, off the collar and not touching the ears.
Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy cigars and that's close enough.
High and tight.
Vittles
Trapped in the People's Communits Republic of Massachusetts.
vict·ual
Spitting image.
does that come from seeing your reflection in spit shined shoes?
As mad as the snake that married the garden hose.
Handier than pockets on a shirt
wouldn't hit a lick at a snake
"If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed. If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." -- Mark Twain
As useless as tîts on a boar. I discovered that I'm not allowed to say this at work.
We have a lot of boars where I work....
That dog won’t hunt.
Make hay while the sun shines.
floppy disk
Never heard that one.
Busier than a one armed (wall)paper hanger
Busier that a one legged man in a butt kicking contest.
Nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs
I know, You're a big dog and I'm on the list.
Let's eat, GrandMa. / Let's eat GrandMa. -- Punctuation saves lives
It'll be fine once the swelling goes down.
Useless as a screen door on a submarine.
Don't let the wife know what you spend on guns, ammo or cigars.
fify
fortnight. As in 2 weeks time.
Score, as in 20 years
Fathom as in 6 feet
Mark twain, as in 2 fathoms, the safe river clearance for a river boat
Firkin, half a kilderkin
I defy you to find the codger who measures his beer in kilderkins. Not a thing.
Might as well measure rye by the stagger.
Cold as a witches t!t in a brass bra.
And along the lines of cold....
So cold, you grab a hair and pi$$ down your leg.
Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy cigars and that's close enough.
Dingleberry
Postcard
typewriter
"If you do not read the newspapers you're uninformed. If you do read the newspapers, you're misinformed." -- Mark Twain